Communication between you and your children. 당신과 당신의 자녀 사이의 의사 소통
Communication between parents and children is very important in raising their children to live safely, healthy, and happily.
Ask, Talk, and Listen are the keys to a successful conversation.
Ask about the interpersonal relationship between your child and your friends, your child, and your peers, or with someone else.
In particular, they guide their children through conversation so that they do not go wrong with wrong information obtained from the Internet and others.
Find out if he or she is bullying or being bullied.
Listen to your children and listen to them.
Listen to your child’s trivial words and talk to him often, and if you have problems, solve them and raise them with love.
Source: American Academy Pediatrics (This poster is a grant received from CDC, produced at the Academy of Micropediatrics and is being used for parent education. Translated by me)
Definition of Communication
The conversation is a way for at least two people to share and exchange each other’s thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, and information using language, letters, signs, and gestures (physical language).
Why parent-child conversation Is the necessary-an example of a conversation
A few years ago, a 13-year-old adolescent girl who had been trying to commit suicide after eating a lot of Tylenol was treated in a hospital emergency room.
There was no doubt that the girl was a pretty, smart adolescent girl with a plump body and a clear feature.
Her face was full of melancholy.
“I’m so annoyed to study at school, follow the teacher’s words, or hear my friends pretend, but my mom and dad told me to study, stay at home, and do not go anywhere in the middle of the night. They didn’t understand at all, they just bothered me. I just wanted to die, so I took medicine,” she said.
The girl also told me that “my boyfriend abandoned me and I was very upset because he liked my classmates.”
The two parents are middle-aged in their 40s. Her father was a university professor, and her mother was a trusted local lawyer.
They were very embarrassed and wept. “I allowed Jennifer to do whatever she wanted to do.
I bought you everything I wanted to have, but I can’t understand why she tried to commit suicide. Before puberty came, the three of us sat down and talked a lot.
The three of us go on a trip together and go to the camp.
About a year ago, she’s the same girl, we’ve been living as we are.
As we are chased by a busy life, the three of us do not have an hour a week to sit down and chat.
So can it be?
I have no idea that she is suffering from such a severe adolescent illness.”
She closed my speech.
“Study hard, get a job, get chased by work-life, volunteer at the church, do this and that. As the years pass very fast by, children are born and in the blink of an eye they grow up, they became in puberty state and they were growing as adolescent children and become into young people. They go to college these days.
On the one hand, it is fun to see children who grow up quickly and independently leave their parents in such a short period of time without knowing it. But sometimes I get depressed and afraid.
Adolescent children worry a lot unknowingly about problems and conflicts that arise in themselves or in adolescent society.
Sharing and exchanging thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, and information that adolescents and parents have with each other through conversation can make it easier to understand and resolve misunderstandings that may arise between parents and adolescents.
Parents can help and solve their adolescent problems thru parent-adolescent communication.
You can prevent problems from occurring in your adolescent children in advance.
It should be noted that almost all adolescent children can develop “puberty problems” (“puberty disease”).
Parents should communicate with their adolescent children about the right puberty issues at the right time, address them, and prevent them from occurring.
Picture 80. “I love you.” At Buyeo public Park, the name of the sculptor is unknown
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 81. Newborns and infants communicate their feelings and intentions to their parents through crying language. They also communicate with their parents by expressing their intentions through physical language. Their crying is language. Crying is a common language with no country, race, age, or individual difference.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP.
Picture 82. Help me.
I don’t want to sit here alone. Mom and Dad help me. Newborns, infants, school-age children, and adolescents communicate by expressing their intentions in crying words or in physical language. Their crying is a kind of language. Parents should listen and listen to their words.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP.
Parent-child conversation
When talking with your children before puberty, or with your adolescent children, it’s better to set aside a time for conversation and talk to them at that time.
Of course, you can use the opportunity that arises from time to time to talk about a topic.
Even when parents need to talk to their adolescent children, set a conversation time to talk to, if possible, and talk at that time.
As parents think, not all children and young children are able to properly express their opinions or feelings in words.
Nevertheless, many parents hope that their adolescent children’s thoughts, feelings, and problems will be maturely expressed and communicated appropriately to parents through parent-child dialogue.
The necessity to communicate between parents and children through conversation and articles on how to communicate can be read frequently in the media such as newspapers, magazines, and the Internet. Adolescent children can learn how to communicate through public media such as TV, the Internet, and the iPad. However, most of the methods of communication between parents and children obtained through public media are too formal. Sometimes some communication methods are not applicable to the present life of adolescent children.
The conversation is absolutely necessary even in everyday life.
So, there is also a saying, “Conversation is food.”
Dialogue between parents and children is a necessity for parenting.
Nevertheless, elementary, middle and high schools do not teach students a very basic way to communicate.
In addition, neither university nor liberal arts subjects were taught to students.
There are few opportunities to learn fundamentally necessary communication methods.
For one reason or another, most parents, including myself, raise their children without knowing how to properly communicate with them.
In addition, the generational gap between children and parents, parents may not understand their child’s problems during conversations between parents and children, and parents and children may misunderstand each other during conversation. Problems can arise frequently during parent-child conversations.
So, when can parents start talking with their children?
Mom and Dad have to start talking to the fetus growing in the mom’s womb.
You have to talk to your newborn baby at birth.
Today, there are many cases where a father helps a wife who is delivering at a delivery table.
When a baby is born, the dad helps the childbirth next to the giving birth wife, and is very important in making parent-child loving bonding withholding the blood-red newborn baby and “ I love you at the delivery room’’
you have to say “I love you” while holding your newborn baby in delivery.
This kind of parent-child love banding is perhaps the most important love in the entire child-raising process.
Imagine that when your beloved child was born, his father was doing what, where, and not seeing the baby.
The newborn baby, who was just waiting for him, replied to his dad and his mother in physical language and crying with a glance, saying “I love you too”.
We pediatricians can often see this beautiful birthing room conversation between his father and him.
There are many times when a newborn baby simply ignores talking with his father and mother in this physical language.
When a baby is born, all fathers are waiting next to the giving birth wife, and then how about deciding a delivery method at a national level to form a bond between the newborn baby and the parents in the birthing room.
The relationship between parents and children who live every day by communicating with their children in newborns, infancy, school age, and puberty frequently to exchange love and receive each other is truly beautiful.
While children grow up and live independently from their parents, it is very beautiful that children and parents exchange love with each other through frequent conversations, and continue to live in a love-bonding relationship between parents and children.
Even after the children have grown up and left their parents, it is also very beautiful to solve problems between parents and children through dialogue and share the joys and sorrows that can occur between parents and children through dialogue.
It will be easy to understand. That conversation is essential to raising healthy and productive children.
“When parents communicate with their children, there are many methods of communication between parents and children that say, “Children and parents should talk like this.” However, the communication method cannot be fixed.
Depending on the child’s age, intelligence, maturity, time and place, and the subject of the conversation, the conversation method should be strictly different.
Parents should never communicate with their children in an authoritative manner and in strict words and actions.
Depending on the time, place, and situation, parents must talk from the standpoint of a guardian, from the standpoint of their children’s parents, sometimes from the standpoint of their child’s best friend, or from the standpoint of their peers.
Before the conversation begins, the message that parents truly love their children without condition should be given.
It is important for parents to start a conversation by delivering good eye contact love, appropriate physical contact love, and focused attention love and cares to their children if possible.
Then, conversations between parents and children begin and proceed easily.
Photo 83. Even when feeding artificial nutrition, the baby is held fondly softly to give physical contact love and feed while having a conversation.
When talking, you should entertain the other person with lovely and kind eye contact. If you look down, sideways, or elsewhere during a conversation, he doesn’t taste the conversation.
Moreover, when you respond to a conversation with an uneasy look, he doesn’t want to continue the conversation.
Your gaze or physical language during conversation is really important to have a good conversation.
While feeding the baby with artificial nutrients with a milk bottle, you do not hug him, do not give physical contact love, loves with eye contact.
Some mothers don’t love them, they don’t love them in physical language or words, and don’t talk to their babies.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 84. The dad talks while giving physical contact love to the baby, loving him with his eye contac love, and loving with body language. The baby also responds to his father with a eye contact love through physical contact love language. They are having a conversation while exchanging love with each other.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD, FAAP
At the same time, depending on the situation, the age of the child, the love of parents is conveyed to the child with lovely and smiling eye contact, and at the same time, physical contact love is achieved by holding the child’s hand or gently touching the shoulder or back with the parent’s hand If you talk while talking, you can make the conversation more serious and better.
When talking to a newborn or infant, hold him in the arms of his mother and talk to him while soaking in eye contact love, and the newborn infant will feel comfortable and will respond with physical language, baby words, or crying words.
Sometimes during the conversation, your child does not accept physical contact love and avoids eye contact love.
This is particularly likely to occur in conversations between parents and adolescents who are not ready for conversation.
When making physical contact love to your adolescent child, you should be comfortable with that child and as short as possible. It shouldn’t be excessive or awkward and should be appropriate.
In particular, I should avoid making appropriate physical contact love when talking with your adolescent child who is not your own adolescent child.
Except in emergencies, when it is necessary to have a conversation between parents and children, an appropriate time should be set for both parents and children.
Don’t set a time for one-sided conversation.
This is especially the case when you have to communicate with your adolescent children.
When your child having fun with something, studying for an exam or doing an important job, when he is very upset, when he doesn’t have time to talk, no matter how young he is, you can’t make parent-child dialogue smooth.
Parents, too, can sometimes find it difficult to comfortably communicate for a number of reasons.
In particular, they are unable to smoothly communicate with their children who are hurt or stressed over their own or other people’s, or who have physical or mental problems.
Parents should recognize that even if their children are young, they are independent individuals and respect their problems.
No matter how young your child may be, parents must be extremely careful when talking about his personal matters.
Photo 85. “Mom and Dad! I love my mom and dad a lot t, high like a mountain, big like an ocean, wide and deep like the ocean.” his mother replies, “I too.” Regardless of age, you should have a lot of conversation.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
This is especially the case when talking about the private issues of adolescent children.
Conversations in the presence of brothers, family members, or third parties about the child’s private matters should be avoided. Even when conversing with your pre-adolescent children, choose a quiet place as possible and have a quiet, logical and rational conversation there.
Practice conversations logically and reasonably with topics and information to be discussed in advance.
A parent can open the door to a child’s psychological barrier if one parent sets aside time and has only one child while conversing with their child with focused attention love and care.
At this time, the child can get the help of parents by taking out a very private problem that they have deep inside and having a conversation with their parents about the problem.
Conversation can be facilitated by taking advantage of the opportunity that only one of the children is at home, and a mother or dad gives focused attention love to the child
. It is also important to find opportunities for a conversation like this.
One parent and two children traveling for hours, days, or even longer periods of time, going to movies, going fishing, going for a walk, eating at a local restaurant, driving to and from anywhere, playing golf, Or, in other cases, if you intensively care for and love a child while focusing on one child, the door to the psychological defense wall deep in the child’s heart begins to open gradually, but in the inner life it is wide open and all the conflicts that are held deep in the heart. A serious conversation can be held by exposing problem thoughts to parents, seeking their opinions and exchanging their opinions with them.
In particular, there are many times when adolescents need some preliminary time to talk to their parents before they start talking to their parents.
Before starting a conversation, it provides a preliminary time for conversation, but if you pour all of your focused attention love, and care, you and he can have the best conversation.
While the psychological barrier gates gradually open, most adolescent children begin to talk about very superficial, trivial issues at first, then open the door a little wider over time and the more serious problems, topics, or heartbreaking that he has. You can also take out complaints and complaints that you kept deep in your heart and ask for the opinions of parents.
If he feels more comfortable talking to his parents, feels more reliable in his parents, and is confident that he can continue the conversation and that his parents is listening seriously and earnestly, sometimes his personal problems arising from heterosexual friendships are also voluntary. He will take it out and talk to my parents, listen to their opinions and advice, and have a conversation while exchanging opinions.
He can talk about personal problems with his peers or friends, or about problems that arise in his relationship with them.
Not only that, but you can also have conversations about his school life, study issues, and future life appropriately at his age.
When he receives intensive care and love, trusts his parents wholly, and thinks that he can present your problems, he will confess all the complaints and complaints against his parents and discuss all the problems in his heart.
Whenever your child has any emotional problems, focusing on loving conversations can give you a glimpse into the problem.
Parents should not miss the opportunity.
Just like pulling a single clue out of a tangled skein and pulling out a tangled skein, you can find out what’s wrong with the child through conversation and solve it.
Picture 86. “Dad! I hate to eat it because it is sour, salty, sweet, and bitter.”
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
In this respect, intensive love can serve as a facilitator to smooth conversations with children and can be the basis of conversational means.
Sometimes, when adolescents want to talk to their parents, they watch their parents’ attention to see if they can talk to them.
He can hide the actual topic he wants to talk to behind and start a conversation about the problem by wiping out another topic that isn’t weird.
Then, if he believes that his parents truly love and accept him and that they can help to solve his problems, he can get a sneak peek of the real problem deep in your heart.
Parents with adolescent children should always be prepared to hold on to the clues during their usual life with their adolescent children and to start a conversation with them.
When the clues of the storyline of the conversation appear a little, it would be good to hold onto it and start the conversation immediately.
Parents are alerted to words that are difficult to find for certain reasons, or to each behavior of their adolescent children, and are prepared and coping with them so that they can start a conversation.
At that time, as if communicating with each other through parent-child dialogue, pulling clues from a tangled thread, he has to grasp the real problem he has and solve the problem.
For this reason, parents need to learn and practice a lot of communication skills and communication skills with their children.
In this respect, “parents should also be at least a half doctor.” I want to say it again.
It is often said, “Parents should communicate with their children often”.
Then, when asked how to talk, there are good answers such as “Parents should listen to their children until the end” during conversations, “Parents should not be angry” and “Respect the character of their children” during the conversation. That alone is not enough.
However, sometimes there is a recommendation to say, “If you don’t respond to the conversation, keep putting pressure on your child to force the conversation.”
This is very wrong and is one of the ways you should never use parent-child conversations.
Here is an article from the book HOW TO REALLY LOVE YOUR TEENAGER, by a pediatric psychiatrist by Ross Campbell.
“I’m often struggling to solve the typical problems that adolescents usually face.
Sometimes, when parents begging parents to talk to a depressed adolescent, the adolescent child communicates primarily with “uh-uh”, “uh-uh”, or similar throat sounds, or by a shrugging body language. It is useless to continue forcing the adolescent to talk to each other when playing mainly, but rather, it makes each other angry.
It is very wrong to compel the adolescent child to answer on the spot, even if he is aware of that fact and repeatedly asks questions about a problem several times.
It can worsen the parent-child relationship.
When parents have no type of pressure to talk to such adolescent children and spend more than 20 to 30 minutes with more positive problems and a lot of focused attention, the door of the child’s psychological barrier gate will gradually open. is average. From this point on, he said that it is a good way to communicate gradually.”
It was reported that parents with adolescent children and their adolescent children were surveyed.
When asked how often adolescent children communicate with their parents, only 5% of adolescent children answered “yes”.
When asked if the parents of the adolescent children are frequently talking with their adolescent children, 95% of the parents of the adolescent children said “yes.”
Let’s go back to the story of Jennifer who tried to commit suicide!
When Jennifer’s boyfriend no longer likes him and prefers her girlfriend in her class, Jennifer once or twice wanted to ask her dad or mom how to solve the problem and listen to their parents’ opinions.
So it wasn’t once or twice that I gave a clue to my mom and dad to solve the problem.
In addition, Jennifer, like other adolescent children, is concerned about her anxiety, worries, conflicts, problems in the future, career choices, college selection, her physical condition, relationships with her peers and friends, substance abuse or alcohol problems, and sex problems. In relation to various adolescent problems, such as health problems, through parent-child conversations, they would have been struggling to listen to the opinions of mothers and fathers, get advice, and get solutions.
Parents, like their best friends, would have been eager to help them, sometimes in the position of their most trusted counselor, and sometimes, like a counselor, wishing to solve their problems.
Unfortunately, Jennifer’s mom and dad weren’t able to communicate smoothly with Jennifer, like parents, friends, or counselors, because they were busy with their personal business, working at work, attending social gatherings, etc. What’s more, conversations between parents and children have been almost cut off since they recently came in.
If Jennifer and her parents had a smooth conversation in the usual way, Jennifer’s parents would have been able to resolve Jennifer’s trouble-adolescent disease.
Jennifer would have had fun as a happy adolescent girl.
Of course, she may not have even attempted suicide.
There is one thing to pick up here.
Parents with adolescent children who solve with their parents through dialogue about extremely private problems with their children are evidence that they are raising their children well. So I raise my hands up and congratulate.
It can be said that a family where the relationship between parents and children, especially adolescent children, can be made smoothly is really happy.
Parents should never declare that they will no longer talk to their adolescent children.
If you don’t have time to talk, you can set an appropriate time again according to the topic or situation of the conversation and talk at that time.
If there is a disagreement or misunderstanding during the conversation that parent-child dialogue cannot continue anymore, the parent is too authoritative, or if the parent-child dialogue is under pressure, each other can naturally become angry.
Whatever the reason, you should never break the line of a parent-child conversation line.
The parent-child conversation line was broken
Whatever the reason, you should never break the line of a parent-child conversation line.
If you think once that the line of parent-child dialogue is broken, this is a really unfortunate parent-child relationship.
Parent-child conversation lines should never be cut off.
When, for any reason, the parent-child conversation can no longer be continued, the parent must always be on the lookout for the child to return to the parent at any time and have the conversation again.
You have to decide a time and place to talk again right then and keep that promise with each other.
When parents and children are unable to resume the conversation or can no longer continue the conversation they were having, a school counselor, a regular pediatrician, a pastor with a counseling education license, or another with the help of an expert, you need to find out what problems your adolescent children are, solve them, and prevent any problems related to them.
Young children have surprisingly a lot of knowledge and information in some way.
Often, parents are sometimes surprised.
Most adolescent children have more up-to-date knowledge or common sense than their parents have.
For this reason, even if you try to take the parent-child conversation seriously, you may not be able to communicate well with your adolescent child.
Not all parents can facilitate parent-child dialogue. In other words, not all parents have knowledge or communication skills to facilitate communication.
In this case, it is more desirable to seek help from a regular pediatrician or an appropriate counselor to solve the child’s problem through counseling.
For reference, there is a growing trend in pediatric clinics now offering counseling to solve problems such as mental, emotional, psychological, and behavioral disorders of children.
Even when parents have conversations with their children, they must listen carefully until they are finished.
Depending on his abilities and age, parents should choose simple, easy-to-understand words to respond to the conversation.
Parent-child conversations should not be made by using difficult words or sentences that cannot be understood.
In order to make sure that the parents understand what the child has said, it is often necessary to have a parent-child conversation by quoting what the child has said and talking to the child, making sure that the child has heard it correctly.
It is also important for parents to speak with their children in a position to show love and care for their children and to help them.
Sometimes during a conversation, you can’t be sure to answer your child’s questions.
That said, you shouldn’t answer their questions unfaithfully and casually.
If there is a problem in the conversation that you cannot answer for sure, you should take the time to think more about it or research it later and promise to answer it.
Sometimes, when you are asked a question from a child that you don’t need to answer right away, you can respond naturally to each other over time after answering that you will answer it later. In other words, time can sometimes solve the problem.
You can answer it quickly, but if you don’t want to answer the question right away, you can promise to answer it in a while.
For example, when a 16-year-old son says he plans to join the military when he turns 18 and asks for his father’s opinion, he can promise to answer in a few months or a year if he doesn’t want to answer right away. Of course, you must keep that promise.
There are also women with a submissive professional authority type 25 percent personality, who are obedient, professional, authoritative, and absolutely obedient, such as seeing a baby when talking to a baby boy, doing the dishes to wash the dishes, and studying if a parent’s command is given.
These children, Dr. Ross Campbell, are said to possess a 25 percent personality. Or, they are said to be children with “professional authority personality”.
On the contrary, what I want to do is that I have already decided, so my parents report this, do that. Do not give orders or intervene, do not block my path, and there are children who are disobedient.
These children, Dr. Ross Campbell, are said to possess a 75 percent personality. Or, they are said to have an “anti-authoritative personality”.
All children are born with nine temperaments from birth. Depending on which of the nine temperaments is more prominent, some are easy to handle, some are difficult to handle, some are easy to talk, some are difficult to communicate.
Parents should be aware of their children’s temperament, respect their temperament, and communicate appropriately according to their temperament and personality.
Sometimes parent-child conversations do not go smoothly or do not respond to parents’ requests or orders.
Sometimes it is necessary to reconsider whether the topic of conversation is inappropriate, based on the age or ability of the child, whether it is an appropriate request or an inappropriate order.
If the conversation doesn’t go well, they are
Photo 87. Children who have been trained and raised through productive and sound parent-child conversations with unconditional love are excellent without being involved in drugs, alcohol, smoking, crime, teenage pregnancy, depression, rebellion against authority, runaway, gang membership, etc. Grown-up as an adult. “mom and dad! Me too
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
You need to re-evaluate whether their love tank is unconditionally filled with true love.
You should also find out if you or your children are physically, mentally, and emotionally sound.
It is important to determine whether the subject of the conversation is appropriate for the child’s age and intelligence, but it is important to consider whether the method of communication is appropriate for the parent or child and whether the time and place for the conversation is appropriate for both parent and child.
For example, if you asked a three-year-old to distinguish between blue, red, and yellow, a child whose color could not be clearly distinguished, the parent made a request that did not fit the child’s age, abilities, and development.
Newborns, infants, school-age children, and adolescents all want to talk to their parents.
Dialogue is food, vitamins, supplements, and necessities of life in raising children. And it is food.
Especially when they suffer mentally and physically, they want to receive eye contact love and physical contact love from their parents.
They want to get and hear the whispers of love from their parents through conversation.
When school grades are low when parents are alone and far away, when they have an accident for some reason when they fall out of good competition, their children want to hear a word or two of their parents’ warm words of love and encouragement.
And through conversation, I want my parents to solve their problems.
When you have a conversation, you should listen carefully and intently to your child’s words and respond to the conversation in gentle, gentle words.
Instead of talking with your children only when you are scolding, admonishing, or training over a problem, you should have a habit of talking with them regularly from an early age.
He said, “Silence is gold,” and “did you sleep well.” “How have you been today.” You shouldn’t treat your children without saying very basic things like “I Love You”.
Depending on the subject, depending on your needs, you can keep the conversation long or short depending on your age, but you can shorten it by a minute or two of the day.
If you have a habit of regular conversation from infancy, parents are comfortable with each other even when talking with their adolescent children.
A number of common problems adolescents may have can be easily prevented through conversation, and problems that have already arisen can be resolved more easily.
When your adolescent is heartbroken or if you want to talk to your parents right away for any emergency problem, you should do so soon.
Of course, you can have a conversation at a mutually agreed time depending on the situation.
The relationship between parents and children who do not have productive and sound conversations can be said to be scary, sad, and pitiful.
If parents and children share thoughts and feelings through conversation, many problems can be prevented in advance so that negative aspects do not arise in their children’s lives, and the positive aspects in their lives can be further strengthened.
If parents treat their children as their own, and talk and raise them in a one-way authoritarian way, without showing true unconditional love for their children, he can listen to his parents well when he is young, but when he grew up in puberty or college When I go to school or live in social life, I am passive, weakened, and lonely in my relationships with my peers and friends.
No parent would want to have children like this.
Even if their children are very young, they know whether their parents’ words and actions are correct or fair, and they know whether they are willing to say things that parents cannot carry out.
You know whether your parents truly love unconditionally, are overly or generous, or treat themselves as fairly as they would with other siblings. During the conversation, never say negative, despised, or ridiculing words to your child, such as “Hey, you idiot” or “That idiot.”
There are no perfect parents and no perfect children in this world.
If a parent makes a mistake during a conversation, don’t make excuses and glorify the mistake, but you should immediately apologize to your child.
It is normal to be angry.
Anyone gets angry.
The question is how to get angry.
When parents talk inappropriately with their anger, they don’t feel afraid to start or continue the conversation.
They can’t take their parents’ instructions or orders properly and can’t continue the conversation.
In particular, you should try to keep your parents from getting angry.
You should apologize to your children even when you are irrationally angry. Children are independent human beings and should not be treated as if they were owned by their parents.
Children who have been trained and raised through genuine, unconditional love, productive and wholesome parent-child conversations under harmonious parents, drugs, alcohol, smoking, crime, teenage pregnancy, depression, rebellion against authoritarians, run away, join gangs You will not get involved in your back and will grow up to be a great adult.
Healthy parent-child dialogue is food. Whatever the reason, you should never break the line of a parent-child conversation line.
If you think once that the line of parent-child dialogue is broken, this is a really unfortunate parent-child relationship.
Parent-child conversation lines should never be cut off.
When, for any reason, the parent-child conversation can no longer be continued, the parent must always be on the lookout for the child to return to the parent at any time and have the conversation again.
You have to decide a time and place to talk again right then and keep that promise with each other.
When parents and children are unable to resume the conversation or can no longer continue the conversation they were having, a school counselor, a regular pediatrician, a pastor with a counseling education license, or another With the help of an expert, you need to find out what problems your adolescent children are, solve them, and prevent any problems related to them.
Young children have surprisingly a lot of knowledge and information in some way.
Often, parents are sometimes surprised.
Most adolescent children have more up-to-date knowledge or common sense than their parents have.
For this reason, even if you try to take the parent-child conversation seriously, you may not be able to communicate well with your adolescent child.
Not all parents can facilitate parent-child dialogue. In other words, not all parents have knowledge or communication skills to facilitate communication.
In this case, it is more desirable to seek help from a regular pediatrician or an appropriate counselor to solve the child’s problem through counseling.
For reference, there is a growing trend in pediatric clinics now offering counseling to solve problems such as mental, emotional, psychological, and behavioral disorders of children.
Even when parents have conversations with their children, they must listen carefully until they are finished.
Depending on his abilities and age, he should choose simple, easy-to-understand words to respond to the conversation.
Parent-child conversations should not be made by using difficult words or sentences that cannot be understood.
In order to make sure that the parents understand what the child has said, it is often necessary to have a parent-child conversation by quoting what the child has said and talking to the child, making sure that the child has heard it correctly.
It is also important for parents to speak with their children in a position to show love and care for their children, and to help them.
Sometimes during a conversation, you can’t be sure to answer your child’s questions.
That said, you shouldn’t answer their questions unfaithfully and casually.
If there is a problem in the conversation that you cannot answer for sure, you should take the time to think more about it or research it later and promise to answer it.
Sometimes, when you are asked a question from a child that you don’t need to answer right away, you can respond naturally to each other over time after answering that you will answer it later. In other words, time can sometimes solve the problem.
You can answer it quickly, but if you don’t want to answer the question right away, you can promise to answer it in a while.
For example, when a 16-year-old son says he plans to join the military when he turns 18 and asks for his father’s opinion, he can promise to answer in a few months or a year if he doesn’t want to answer right away. Of course, you must keep that promise.
There are also women with a submissive professional authority type 25 percent personality, who are obedient, professional, authoritative, and absolutely obedient, such as seeing a baby when talking to a baby boy, doing the dishes to wash the dishes, and studying if a parent’s command is given.
These children, Dr. Ross Campbell, are said to possess a 25 percent personality. Or, they are said to be children with “professional authority personalities”.
On the contrary, what I want to do is that I have already decided, so my parents report this, do that. Do not give orders or intervene, do not block my path, and there are children who are disobedient.
These children, Dr. Ross Campbell, are said to possess a 75 percent personality. Or, they are said to have an “anti-authoritative personality”.
All children are born with nine temperaments from birth. Depending on which of the nine temperaments is more prominent, some are easy to handle, some are difficult to handle, some are easy to talk, some are difficult to communicate.
Parents should be aware of their children’s temperament, respect their temperament, and communicate appropriately according to their temperament and personality.
Sometimes parent-child conversations do not go smoothly or do not respond to parents’ requests or orders.
Sometimes it is necessary to reconsider whether the topic of conversation is inappropriate, based on the age or ability of the child, whether it is an appropriate request or an inappropriate order.
If the conversation doesn’t go well, they are
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Photo 87. Children who have been trained and raised through productive and sound parent-child conversations with unconditional love are excellent without being involved in drugs, alcohol, smoking, crime, teenage pregnancy, depression, rebellion against authority, runaway, gang membership, etc. Grown-up as an adult. “Mom and dad! Me too
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
You need to re-evaluate whether their love tank is unconditionally filled with true love.
You should also find out if you or your children are physically, mentally, and emotionally sound.
It is important to determine whether the subject of the conversation is appropriate for the child’s age and intelligence, but it is important to consider whether the method of communication is appropriate for the parent or the child and whether the time and place for the conversation is appropriate for both parent and the child.
For example, if you asked a three-year-old to distinguish between blue, red, and yellow, a child whose color could not be clearly distinguished, the parent made a request that did not fit the child’s age, abilities, and development.
Newborns, infants, school-age children, and adolescents all want to talk to their parents.
Dialogue is food, vitamins, supplements, and necessities of life in raising children. And it is food.
Especially when they suffer mentally and physically, they want to receive e eye contact love and physical contact love from their parents.
They want to get and hear the whispers of love from their parents through conversation.
When school grades are low when parents are alone and far away when they have an accident for some reason when they fall out of good competition, their children want to hear a word or two of their parents’ warm words of love and encouragement.
And through conversation, I want my parents to solve their problems.
When you have a conversation, you should listen carefully and intently to your child’s words and respond to the conversation in gentle, gentle words.
Instead of talking with your children only when you are scolding, admonishing, or training them over a problem, you should have a habit of talking with them regularly from an early age.
They said, “Silence is gold,” and “did you sleep well.” “How have you been today.” You shouldn’t treat your children without saying very basic things like “I Love You”.
Depending on the subject, depending on your needs, you can keep the conversation long or short depending on your age, but you can shorten it by a minute or two of the day.
If you have a habit of regular conversation from infancy, parents are comfortable with each other even when talking with their adolescent children.
A number of common problems adolescents may have can be easily prevented through parents-adolescent conversation, and problems that have already arisen can be resolved more easily.
When your adolescent is heartbroken or if you want to talk to your parents right away for any emergency problem, you should do so soon.
Of course, you can have a conversation at a mutually agreed time depending on the situation.
The relationship between parents and children who do not have productive and sound conversations can be said to be scary, sad, and pitiful.
If parents and children share thoughts and feelings through conversation, many problems can be prevented in advance so that negative aspects do not arise in their children’s lives, and the positive aspects in their lives can be further strengthened.
If parents treat their children as their own, and talk and raise them in a one-way authoritarian way, without showing true unconditional love for their children, he will not listen to his parents well when he is young, but when he grew up in puberty. When he goes to college or lives in social life, he is passive, weakened, and lonely in his relationships with his peers and friends.
No parent would want to have children like this.
Even if their children are very young, they know whether their parents’ words and actions are correct or fair, and they know whether they are willing to say things that parents cannot carry out.
You know whether your parents truly love unconditionally, are overly or generous, or treat themselves as fairly as they would with other siblings. During the conversation, never say negative, despised, or ridiculing words to your child, such as “Hey, you idiot” or “That idiot.”
There are no perfect parents and no perfect children in this world.
If a parent makes a mistake during a conversation, don’t make excuses and glorify the mistake, but you should immediately apologize to your child.
It is normal to be angry.
Anyone gets angry.
The question is how to get angry.
When parents talk inappropriately with their anger, they don’t feel afraid to start or continue the conversation.
They can’t take their parents’ instructions or orders properly and can’t continue the conversation.
In particular, you should try to keep your parents from getting angry.
You should apologize to your children even when you are irrationally angry. Children are independent human beings and should not be treated as if they were owned by their parents.
Children who have been trained and raised through genuine, unconditional love, productive and wholesome parent-child conversations under harmonious parents, drugs, alcohol, smoking, crime, teenage pregnancy, depression, rebellion against authoritarians, run away, join gangs. He will not get involved in your back and will grow up to be a great adult.