The degree to which children are happy and stable depends on how happy and stable in the marriage life of the children’s mom and dad is. Marital happiness of parents positively influences their children’s happiness.
자녀가 행복하고 안정적인 정도는 자녀의 엄마, 아빠의 결혼 생활이 얼마나 행복하고 안정적인가에 달려 있습니다. 부모의 결혼생활 행복은 자녀의 행복에 긍정적인 영향을 미칩니다….43
The basic conditions necessary for raising stable and happy children are food, clothing, shelter, health, and love. In addition, the marriage between their mother and father must be happy, harmonious, and stable.
The children of such mothers and fathers who have a smooth and happy marriage grow happier.
If the home of the growing children is not stable, their children are not truly loved by their parents.
In order for the family to be smooth and stable, the marriage of their mothers and fathers must be stable.
This is a very basic condition for children’s happiness.
That comes first.
The family can be stable and comfortable only when the relationship between their mother and father is stable, harmonious, and amicable.
The most important prerequisite is for establishing a stable, harmonious, and amicable marital relationship between the mother and father, and then their mother and father lead the family with a lot of unconditional true love.
Their Mom and Dad must have a lot of unconditional true love for each other.
Then, Their mom and dad will be friendly and able to maintain a smooth relationship.
What is unconditional love in a marital relationship?
Unconditional love is ideal love.
It is impossible for a couple to achieve 100% unconditional true love with each other.
It is to be more close enough that the couple lives in marriage while truly loving each other without conditions.
Then their mom and dad’s marriage life will be smooth and happy.
Children who grow up under such a mother and father will naturally grow happily.
Children who grow up happily love themselves and know how to love others.
Whatever they do, they will do their best.
Only when children grow up under the parents of a happy and affable mother and father their children feel that they grow up with full love from their mother and father.
However, children grow up with sound healthy self-esteem and pride.
They can sympathize with young children, respect the elderly, and love the poor and the weak.
They know how to discern right and wrong.
Naturally, they are loved by their parents and loved by other people.
How happy are these children?
Money cannot buy such happy children.
Of course, They can’t buy it with money.
In today’s turbulent and complex society, it is virtually very difficult to show children that mothers and fathers are living in a smooth and intimate marital relationship with each other by making a lot of unconditional and genuine love for each other.
Photo 6. Mom and Dad! I love my mom and dad like a high mountain and as much as the wide ocean
Copyright ⓒ 2016John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
However, mom and dad must strive to have an unconditional, true loving couple.
In other words, you need to show your children that the marital relationship between the mom and the dad is smooth and that the two live happily.
Only then will children grow up happily and stably.
The mom and dad must have a lot of true love for each other on that day.
As Corinthians 13:4~7 Unconditional Love, You cannot love 100% as it is, but you must love one another without conditions.
So you have to show your children how to truly love without condition.
Children also feel happy and grow up and develop joyfully, knowing that their parents truly love them unconditionally.
You must also teach children how to live gentle, good, polite, modest, and humble. Those who live that way truly love others.
Young children don’t have much because they are young.
After birth, young children often learn primarily a lot from their mothers and fathers.
They don’t have so much what they see, hear, and learn in their short world life.
What they see, hear, and learn in this short world, they reflect back to their parents and people in this world.
Children who are raised with unconditional love from their parents bring unconditional love to their parents.
Just as they received, they offer “unconditional love” to the world as well.
Children who have learned to love conditionally from their parents also love their parents or people of this world conditionally.
Even if mothers and fathers have provided their children with abundant food and healthy love, their children do not feel that they are unconditionally truly loved by their parents unless their marital relationship is smooth and they are not happy.
As already explained, unconditional love between a mother and a father is ideal.
However, mam and Dad must love to be close 100% to that unconditional love.
Also, Parents must do their best to give unconditional love to their children.
Unfortunately, divorce rates for couples in the United States these days are around 30-40%.
They are said to be almost the same or even more in the motherland of Korea. In addition, parents live separate lives due to various complex problems such as personal problems.
There are many children who grow up under a single mother due to the death of a mother or father.
For these and other reasons, many children are unable to grow up under the parents of the mothers and the fathers, and their families, which are the foundation and basic condition of their lives, are shattered or fluctuated.
There are so many children these days who grow up without the love and care of their natural mothers and fathers, just as a baby bird in a nest that still cannot fly into the air on its own has lost their mom and da jus like baby birds.
The material side of life is so richer and has so much but there is nothing more than a few decades ago.
There are many teenage children who wander after running away from home without purpose under their parents.
Some of them are also entangled in a collective snare of heretics who are only open to self-interest.
You can predict what kind of problems will come to them and what will happen to them in the future.
The quality and quantity of love between mothers and fathers is directly linked to the quality and quantity of love between parents and children.
“Parents should also be at least a half doctor(부모도 반의사가 되어야 한다).” Here and there are repeated explanations of “how to truly love your children”.
Because it is of paramount importance to love and raise your children properly and truly.
Here again, I will talk about specific ways of how parents truly love their children unconditionally.
I’ve heard something like this.
I asked their adolescent children, “Do you think you are truly loved by your parents without condition?”
“Yes, I am.” Only 5% of adolescent children answered.
When I asked their parents, “Are you truly unconditionally loving your children?” I asked a question.
95% of them said, “I love our children without the condition.”
Why did we get the answer to this result?
There are many reasons for this, but it is because parents’ love for their children was not well communicated to their adolescent children because they did not know how to truly love their children.
What a sad relationship between parents and adolescent children are.
Here, mothers and fathers must learn how to love their children so that the love of their children is fully conveyed to their adolescent children.
Almost all parents love their children with eye contact love, physical contact love, focused attention love, and care, train their children with love, and nurture their children well, but do not know how to effectively communicate parental love to their children.
Also, they don’t even know how important “real love without conditions” is when they love their children.
Photo 7. Parents must love their children unconditionally so that they love others unconditionally, establish good interpersonal relationships, do their best in this world, and live with a lot of sound, healthy pride. Copyright ⓒ 2016 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
자녀가 얼마나 행복하고 안정적인지는 자녀의 부모가 결혼 생활에서 얼마나 행복하고 안정적인가에 달려 있습니다. 부모의 결혼 생활 행복은 자녀의 행복에 긍정적인 영향을 미칩니다.
안정적이고 행복한 자녀를 양육하는 데 필요한 기본적인 조건은 의식주, 건강, 그리고 사랑입니다. 여기에 더해, 자녀의 부모 사이의 결혼생활 또한 행복하고, 화목하며, 안정적이어야 합니다.
원만하고 행복한 결혼생활을 영위하는 부모를 둔 자녀들은 더욱 행복하게 성장합니다.
성장기 자녀가 머무는 가정이 안정적이지 못하다면, 그 자녀는 부모로부터 진정한 사랑을 받고 있다고 느끼지 못할 것입니다.
가정이 원만하고 안정적으로 유지되려면, 부모의 결혼생활이 안정적이어야 합니다.
이것이야말로 자녀의 행복을 위한 가장 기본적인 조건입니다.
이것이 무엇보다도 우선되어야 합니다.
가정은 오직 부모 사이의 관계가 안정적이고, 화목하며, 서로에게 우호적일 때 비로소 안정되고 편안해질 수 있습니다.
가장 중요한 전제 조건은 부모 사이에 안정적이고 화목하며 우호적인 부부 관계를 확립하는 것이며, 그 바탕 위에서 부모가 무조건적이고 진실한 사랑으로 가정을 이끌어 나가는 것입니다.
부모는 서로를 향해 무조건적이고 진실한 사랑을 듬뿍 품고 있어야 합니다.
그럴 때 부모는 서로에게 다정하게 대하며 원만한 관계를 유지할 수 있게 됩니다.
부부관계에 있어 ‘무조건적인 사랑’이란 과연 무엇일까요?
무조건적인 사랑은 이상적인 사랑의 형태입니다.
부부가 서로에게 100% 완벽하게 무조건적인 진실한 사랑을 실현하기란 사실상 불가능합니다.
그보다는, 부부가 결혼생활을 영위하는 동안 서로에게 아무런 조건을 달지 않고 진심으로 사랑하며 살아갈 수 있을 만큼 충분히 가까워지는 것을 의미합니다.
그렇게 되면 부모의 결혼생활은 원만하고 행복해질 것입니다.
이러한 부모 밑에서 자란 자녀들은 자연스럽게 행복하게 성장하게 됩니다.
행복하게 성장한 자녀는 자신을 사랑할 줄 알며, 타인을 사랑하는 법 또한 알게 됩니다.
그들은 어떤 일을 하든 최선을 다해 해낼 것입니다. 아이들은 행복하고 다정한 부모님 밑에서 자랄 때 비로소, 자신들이 부모님으로부터 넘치는 사랑을 받으며 성장하고 있다는 것을 느끼게 됩니다.
그리하여 아이들은 건전하고 건강한 자존감과 자부심을 지니고 성장하게 됩니다.
이들은 어린아이들을 이해하고 공감할 줄 알며, 어른을 공경하고, 가난하고 소외된 이들을 사랑할 줄 알게 됩니다.
또한 무엇이 옳고 그른지 분별할 줄 아는 지혜를 갖추게 됩니다.
자연스럽게 이 아이들은 부모님에게 사랑받을 뿐만 아니라, 다른 사람들로부터도 사랑받는 존재가 됩니다.
이 아이들은 과연 얼마나 행복할까요?
돈으로는 이토록 행복한 아이들을 살 수 없습니다.
물론, 그 어떤 돈으로도 살 수 없는 소중한 존재들입니다.
오늘날처럼 혼란스럽고 복잡한 사회에서, 부모가 서로에게 조건 없는 진실한 사랑을 쏟으며 원만하고 친밀한 부부 관계를 유지하고 있음을 아이들에게 보여주기란 사실상 매우 어려운 일입니다.
사진 6. 엄마, 아빠! 저는 엄마 아빠를 저 높은 산처럼, 그리고 저 넓은 바다만큼이나 사랑해요.
Copyright ⓒ 2016 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
그럼에도 불구하고, 엄마와 아빠는 서로에게 조건 없는 진실한 사랑을 베푸는 부부가 되기 위해 끊임없이 노력해야 합니다.
다시 말해, 부모 사이의 관계가 원만하며 두 사람이 서로 행복하게 살아가고 있음을 아이들에게 보여 주어야 합니다.
오직 그럴 때에만 아이들은 행복하고 정서적으로 안정된 아이로 성장할 수 있습니다.
엄마와 아빠는 매일매일 서로를 향한 진실한 사랑을 가득 품고 살아가야 합니다.
고린도전서 13장 4~7절에 묘사된 ‘조건 없는 사랑’처럼, 비록 100% 완벽하게 실천하기는 어렵다 할지라도, 부모는 서로를 향해 조건 없는 사랑을 베풀기 위해 힘써야 합니다.
그리하여 아이들에게 조건 없이 진정으로 사랑하는 법이 무엇인지 몸소 보여 주어야 합니다.
부모님이 자신들을 진심으로, 그리고 조건 없이 사랑하고 있음을 깨달은 아이들 또한 행복을 느끼며, 기쁨 속에서 무럭무럭 성장하고 발달하게 됩니다.
또한 아이들에게 온유하고 선하며, 예의바르고 겸손한 태도로 살아가는 법을 가르쳐야 합니다. 그러한 삶의 자세를 지닌 사람이야말로 진정으로 타인을 사랑할 줄 아는 사람입니다.
어린아이들은 아직 나이가 어리기 때문에 가진 것이 많지 않습니다.
태어난 후, 어린아이들은 주로 엄마와 아빠를 통해 세상의 많은 것을 배우며 자라납니다.
이 짧은 세상살이 속에서 아이들이 보고 듣고 배우는 경험의 폭은 아직 그리 넓지 않습니다.
하지만 이 짧은 세상에서 보고 듣고 배운 모든 것들을 아이들은 다시 부모님과 세상 사람들을 향해 그대로 비추어 보여주게 됩니다. 부모로부터 무조건적인 사랑을 받으며 자란 아이들은 부모에게 무조건적인 사랑을 돌려줍니다.
Copyright drleepediatrics.com 3/27/2026