Parenting with unconditional love and care for your child (5)
자녀에 대한 무조건적인 사랑과 보살핌으로 양육하기
Photo 16. The more true love you receive from your parents, the better. Children who receive such love are happy and confident. Whatever they do, they do their best and live with sound healthy self-esteem and pride. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Our parents don’t give a stone to their children when they ask for bread. If children ask for fish, parents will not give vipers to their children.
Of course not.
Parents give their children nutritious and delicious bread and fruit. Give enough fish to your children.
Parents truly love and nurture their children.
Our parents love and raise their children a lot.
However, most children do not feel they are raised and loved enough by their parents.
Why is that so?
Parents think that they love and raise their children, but almost all parents do not know how to properly convey their parents’ love for their children.
Why is that so?
Parents love their children, but they do not know how to convey their love for their children to them.
That is why, unfortunately, many children do not feel that they are loved enough by their parents.
In addition, It was taught to raise my children with strict discipline.
“You have to train your children through corporal punishment, so they can get well trained.” Highly educated. At school, teachers taught students severely and unilaterally.
Neither at school nor at home regularly taught them how to properly love their children or how to properly raise them.
Most young people marry without learning how to love their children properly.
And they give birth to and raise children.
I haven’t learned that children are at the forefront of their lives.
No matter where in the world they live, many parents today have this problem.
Photo 17. Children who grow up with full and unconditional true love themselves, know how to love others, feel comfortable and sincere, do their best, and grow up happily. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 18. Children who grow up with full and unconditional true love life with a wholesome and rich sense of pride. Whatever he sees, you see right, whatever you hear, hear right, think right about anything, and act right. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Dear parents!
Parents, do you know what questions their growing children often ask their parents?
“Do you love me?”
Do you love me? Is a question.
“Do you love me?”
They ask the same question over and over again and again.
Mom and dad!
Do you love me?
Do you truly love me without condition?
“Do you really love me?”
“Please love me unconditionally?
Mom and Dad show me, unconditional true love?”
Mom and dad!
Please love me with a lovely look?
How much did you love me with loving eye contact?
Mom and dad!
How many times have you hugged me, how much lifted me, stroked me, touched me, and raised me in love?
Mom, Dad, me, honor, wealth, work, money, what do you prioritize your life?
How many of my mom and dad’s life priorities am I?
Am I at first in my mom and dad’s life priorities?
Is it in the second?
Or is it in the third?
I want to know.
Am I the next priority after mom or dad?
Mom, dad, honor, fortune, am I in the next priority?
So, are you saying that mom and dad put wealth more than me, honor more than me, and companies more important than me?
Then I am anxious.
I have heartache.
I am not happy.
Mom and dad!
Have you ever thought of yourself as the most important person or the most important child in the world is your mother’s and father’s lives?
Mom and dad!
While living in this extremely active world, Mom and dad take time to take me alone to go wherever I am, thinking that I am the most precious and important child in the world, loving me intensively, taking care of me, and entertaining me for at least a few hours or a few days. Or have you ever spent longer than that?
In this busy world, how many times have you put everything aside and took me alone to go somewhere to entertain me, give me intensive love, and take care of me?.
Please answer me?
Mom and dad!
Have mom and dad ever raised me like my mom and dad’s property?
Did you know that I am an independent human being in this world.
Although I am small and young, do you respect and nurture me as an independent human being?
Mom and dad!
Do you know what love means?
Did you know that “warm behavior and heart for caring for others” is love?
Nevertheless, have you ever raised me by possessing me and you love me as if you own me, love me through role reversal, and love me seductively?
Mom and dad!
Have you ever loved me conditionally?
No matter how hard you try, I can’t get the first ranking in school, but if I do first, you promise that you’ll buy my favorite violin only when I take first place, where to spend, and do you know that love and parenting are conditional love?
What should I do when I receive conditional love?
Will I treat my mom and dad conditionally just like the conditional love that mom and dad do?
Mom and dad!
Did you know that I am anxious when I do my best but I don’t meet my mom and dad’s expectations?
Mom and dad!
Do you know what is unconditional love?
Mom and dad!
Do you know what is true love without conditions?
Like the unconditional love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, do you love me and raise me?
Such love is perfect love.
Have you ever loved me so close to it, even if you can’t necessarily give it such a perfect love?
Whether I’m tall or short, fat or slim, ugly or handsome, crippled or not, whether I’m immature and my actions like. Mom and Dad’s likes or not, whether I’m smart or stupid, dull or witty, Do you love me regardless of the conditions?
During the 2008 U.S. presidential vice-presidential campaign, Alaska Governor Farin showed to the people of the United States and all over the world that after the vice president, she hugged her eight-month-old Down syndrome son with one arm and soaked in unconditional love for him.
Mom and dad!
Whether or not I can grow up to be a famous athlete in the world, do business well and become a millionaire, are you unconditionally loving me, whether I am a daughter or a son?
When I was born with Down syndrome, can you love and raise me without condition?
Can you proudly present me to this world, saying that I am a stupid child of mom and dad?
Mom and dad!
Are you loving me without condition?
That doesn’t mean that my mom and dad should just go over what I do or say wrong.
If you truly love me without conditions, you must correct my wrongdoings and words with love.
Mom and dad!
I really know it’s not easy to be a parent.
My mom and dad, who love me without condition and raise me, give me the strength to live happily, securely, and peacefully, make it easy to get along with my friends, give me the strength to treat people well, and do my best to live in this world. Did you know that you are giving me the power to let go?
Mom and dad!
Have you ever wonder what kind of love you received from mom and dad’s parents when mom and dad grew up?
Mom and dad!
Did you know that only when you receive and grow up to receive and grow up to receive true unconditional love through eye contact love, physical contact love through focused attention love and care, your children can become the best, do their best, and work well in parenting training of mom and dad?
Do you know what can be an opportunity to live with healthy pride?
Mom and dad!
Do you know that you have a duty to love your children that way, and that they have the right to receive that love?
Mom and dad!
Did you know that training is to train your children to walk the path they deserve through examples, examples, admonitions, words, requests, and writings?
Do you know the meaning of training?
Did you know that it is training to lead your children with love so that they can think and do right so that they can become productive members of society who know how to govern themselves?
Mom and dad!
Did you know that training should be done with love?
Still, why are they trained through corporal punishment?
Mom and dad!
Do you know that some parents rationalize their mistakes before their younger children?
Did you know that there are no perfect people in the world, no perfect children, and also no perfect parents?
Do mom and dad know how important it is to apologize when parents do wrong to their children?
Still, did you know that some parents use the word “love sticks” to punish their children with love sticks?
Did you know that corporal punishment is corporal punishment and love is love?
Mom and dad!
I am still growing day by day and am a child.
Because I’m still a young child, I behave like a young child and immature child, but as I gradually grow up and become an adult
Photo 19. If you truly love me unconditionally, even if I have such a mess around the house, I can grow up judging well and acting maturely. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 20. Even if I can’t eat cleanly and quietly like adults because I’m young, if you love and raise me without condition, I will eat politely and quietly. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 22. Even if you play with kitchen utensils like a naughty boy, if I grow up, I will behave maturely and talk and play maturely. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 21. Even if I play with a doghouse like a naughty boy, if you truly love me without conditions, he will grow up and behave maturely. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 24. Training should not be done as suit as possible. In particular, training through corporal punishment often leads to insults, sometimes rebellion, and negative consequences, even if they are young. To love your children sincerely and unconditionally does not mean to love the very wrong they have made. Don’t just ignore the wrongdoing of your children. Copyright © 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 23. Training is done with love. When training with love, you must first ask for this to do this, and if he or she does not respond, you must consider whether the training is appropriate for the child. In the meantime, parents think about whether they have truly loved, raised, and trained them without condition. Parents should reevaluate they are ok for mentally, physically, economically, and spiritually. If a parent himself or herself has done something wrong, parents should accept the fact, should not hesitate to tell your child that you have done wrong, and love and train them without condition. And if the petition is not appropriate, it must be changed and trained accordingly. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD, FAAP
Picture 25. Children who grow up receiving enough true unconditional love themselves and know how to love others with an abundance of sound self-esteem and pride. Always feel comfortable and secure. Copyright © 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 26. Prince Edward Island Ferry lighthouse in Canada to Nova Scotia, US.
Like a lighthouse that help you how to navigate safely in the ocean on a dark-black night, unconditional love illuminates parents with the way to raise their children rightly. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Mom and dad!
When you do training me wth love to have nice behave and speak the right way, you give me first plea, and if I receive the right plead and I do not comply, please check whether I am hungry, sick, incapable of carrying out your plea, whether your plea is inappropriate at the time or place, etc. I would like to ask if you would like to re-evaluate it.
Mom and dad!
Are you filling my love tank sufficiently with unconditional true love?
Did you know that only doing so will give me more nutrients and energy in my life, so I am better prepared to work on my mom and dad’s training?
When children grow up, do you train your children by filling their love tanks enough with the usual focused attention love and through eye contact love and physical contact with true love, That is essential for growing children and becomes energy and nourishment in life.
Did you know that all children have love tanks in the heart? When their love tank becomes the fullest and parents don’t need to train them on command or train them as punishment.
Mom and dad!
Did you know that children are born with 9 different temperaments from birth?
Each child grows up with a unique temperament according to the level of the nine natural temperaments. It is important for parents to raise their children while respecting each child’s innate temperament.
Did you know that there are some children who are difficult to raise because of their natural temperament, no matter how well they train and try to raise them well while growing up?
Mom and dad!
If a child who is mature enough to fulfill the parents’ request and has the ability to fulfill the parental request children do not accept the parental training request when it is given an appropriate request during training, he or she may be sternly ordered to do so and will comply with the order. Did you know that if they don’t comply, then you can train it as a punishment or the behavior modification training method?
Mom and dad!
When punishing children, did you know that the amount and method of punishment must be different depending on the age and situation?
For example, if a 6-year-old child does not comply with the parent’s orders, a time-out may be punished for staying alone in the room for about 6 minutes is appropriate for that age, and also a punishment for not watching TV for a day or two, or a day or two with a friend is appropriate. And you can punish them by preventing them from playing together while you are.
For example, if a 6-year-old child does not comply with the parent’s orders, a time-out may be a good way to punish for staying alone in the room for about 6 minutes appropriate for that age, a punishment for not watching TV for a day or two, or not plating with a day or two with a friend. Did you know that you can punish them by preventing them from playing together while you are?
Mom and dad!
If you give me a lot of unconditional true love, there is no need to punish me. Did you know that I can behave well on my own and be good at parent training?
Mom and dad!
Did you know that corporal punishment once received is a training method that is irreversible and can damage the relationship between parents and children, and that the consequences of corporal punishment are bad and it is a training method that should not be used to raise children through corporal punishment?
Did you know you shouldn’t train with corporal punishment?
Mom and dad.
Did you know that the younger your children, the easier it is to communicate with them if parents properly give them more physical contact love and eye contact love, and Children are better able to follow parental training and also parents can raise them more easily?
Some people say that they will become spoiled children if they are properly nurtured with physical contact love, such as holding child, touching them with warm hands, kissing their cheeks, and others who think that they should not be raised in such way.
That’s not right.
Did you know that it is not wrong to raise your children with proper eye contact love, physical contact, etc?
If you raise a child without saying, “I love you,” neither hugging nor kissing, the child will not know if their parents really love him, and if trained in corporal punishment, they will become anxious and desperate children.
Children who are not well-loved and trained will rebel against every request and every order of their parents.
Let’s raise our children with true unconditional love.
Dear parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
The following is an example of the Internet pediatric and adolescent health counseling question and answer on “Unconditional Love and focused attention Love”.
Q & A. Unconditional love focused attention love
Q.This is about an 11-year-old girl.
I have three daughters. The eldest child is 11 years old, the second is 9 years old, and the youngest is about 9 months old.
However, I am very worried about my oldest child, so I am writing like this.
The child’s personality is not very active. However, I don’t think she has not been bullied in school. Sometimes friends come to play and talk about close friends. Before, she attended an art academy, and from the fourth grade, She went to a piano academy. They attended such an academy because they wanted to do it.
The child is dexterous, but she is good at folding papers and making funny toys. She played the piano well, so the progress was fast.
But her activity is too slow. It wasn’t on purpose, it was originally. Everything is not fast, and I have to ask her to write a diary. She promised me she would do it by herself and then she would do it.
But She does not have proper toilet training. It’s been a while since she was in the 3rd grade. After she was holding for urination. She went to the bathroom to get it on her underwear and It was smell bad. I tried scolding, and Ir said it would cause illness, and sometimes I tried leaving it alone, but it didn’t work much. The bathroom at home is conventional, but the school is flush. Even at home, she goes only when she was in a hurry, so sometimes she can’t move around because it’s too urgent. What should I do?. Should I go to the hospital and get a consultation?
It’s not that she can’t have a toilet. she did like to go for a pee, so should I have to wait. To me, I am so worried that it has become a habit to be patient. Isn’t that the usual slow and self-doing personality? When I talk, it seems like I go to the bathroom properly for a day or two. When I was a baby, I never scolded her for urine problems, did I cause her problems. I trained her bowel movements after her second birthday and she did bowel movement toilet training in two weeks. You must be busy, but please give me a good word for this ignorant mother.
If you cannot help me, but if I have to go to the hospital, please tell me where to go.
If not, please name one of the Pediatric Psychiatric clinic in Seoul, so I would really appreciate it if you could say anything.
Thank you for reading this long article and be healthy. Thank you.
A. To mom
Hello. Thanks for the great question.
The more information you know about your child’s age, gender, past medical history, family medical history, medical examination findings, clinical examination, etc., the more helpful it is to give you an answer. We will respond based on the information you provided.
You will be worried a lot.
It would be nice to know more about your child’s growth and development process, know your past medical history, do a medical examination, and do a few more clinical tests that I need.
How about doing something like this.
Go to the Pediatric clinics nearby and tell them what you told me, and ask for a head-to-toe examination to see if there are any abnormalities in her body.
When receiving regular health check-ups, girls, boys, and adolescent boys and girls should also have an external genital examination. Therefore, your child’s pediatrician will also properly examine your child’s external genitalia. Also, she must have a total physical examination. If necessary, you should also have an anal exam.
And do the following clinical tests.
Symptoms such as those in your child may also result from a urinary tract infection.
In addition, constipation can also cause signs of such symptoms.
With a urine chemistry test, you can easily find out in 5 minutes if she may have pyuria, hematuria, or bacteriuria in her urine.
These tests can be easily done at the local pediatric clinic, and parents too can do the tests at home.
Also, to find out if you have a urinary tract infection, ask her doctor to do a urine gram stain, microscopic bacteriological test, and urine bacterial culture test.
If the test results are normal, it is common to assume that there are no signs of such symptoms due to urination problems or urinary tract infection problems.
You should also do a CBC blood test to see if you have anemia.
Children who are emotionally anxious with hypothyroidism may behave somewhat slower.
So ask for a thyroid function test.
Sometimes two ureters come out of one kidney and one of them connects to the urethra below the bladder. In some cases of double ureter malformations, the end of one of the three ureters may open into the vaginal cavity.
Children with this deformity can urinate little by little at all times.
Ask for a detailed examination of the external genital organs to see if there is such an abnormality.
Also, the mother lit a lamp to find out if there is any abnormality at the entrance to the external urethra or vaginal cavity of the daughter’s child’s external genitalia, and see if urine continues to come out one drop or two drops.
If you suspect that she has a urinary tract infection or a congenital malformation of the urinary tract, such as a double ureter, try an ultrasound of the kidney, the ureter, and the bladder and urethra.
If the results of all of the above tests are normal, you should suspect that your child has a mental problem.
If she has a mental problem, it is advisable to seek a referral from a regular pediatrician and see a pediatric psychiatrist.
There are the adolescent who does have bedwet problem and soiling when there is no abnormality in the body and the urinary incontinence around the day and night.
Since this happens unconsciously, you should not force or punish you not to do so.
I can tell you a few things, so please accept it.
Whether there is a mental problem or not, have her father takes the child to the theater, go to the park, go to a restaurant, or goes on a trip where the child is the most important and most loved child in the world. Please take care of me.
This way of giving love is called focused attention love.
It takes a lot of time to give this focused attention to love.
Time is money. If parents spend money to love your child, it’s worth it.
Not only that, during this love, the child will appreciate that he loves me this way, and he will love him and respect him, treat him like him, and sometimes treat him like a friend.
At this time, the child will tell her father about the stress, suffering, and conflict that she had deeply held in his heart. At first, she will speak carefully. In the future, her father will be able to say everything as it is without your knowledge.
This is what our parents want.
You have the opportunity to seriously engage in conversations between parents and children while giving focused attention love. Focused attention love and care, are one of the most sincere ways to love your child.
At this point, you may be able to find out why such symptoms are occurring and the cause. Sometimes, instead of a dad, a mom can do the same for focused attention love, and care.
We know that just as parents give their children the best food, so children want to do their best to please them.
Please re-evaluate whether you truly loved your child with eye contact love and physical contact love without conditions, whether you love training, and training through corporal punishment.
If you have more questions, please contact us again. Thank you. Lee Sang-won.,MD