Focused attention love and care to your children 자녀들을 집중적으로 관심을 갖고 사랑해준다 보살펴준다

Focused attention love and care to your children

자녀들을 집중적으로 관심을 갖고 사랑해준다

Focused attention love is when a mother or a father spends time with one of the children and recognizes that he or she is the most precious child in the world while taking care of and loving that child.

It seems to be an ideal child love, and is also the effect of focused attention love is too great.

When one parent focuses on one child, cares for him, and pours out his parent’s love so that he or she can feel that he or she is the most important human being in the world, he or she can feel that the child is the most precious child to parents.

When a child is alone with one parent, the child will feel comfortable, happy, and excited. The child may also feel like the best.

Every child is born with the right to be protected and recognized, cares for and loved, affectionated, and sympathized from parents from birth. Parents have a duty to do so. In this sense, it is difficult to become a perfect parent.

In a very active and hectic life, parents set aside time and focus on one child only.

Focused attention love, which pours out love and attention and cares for only a child, is quite difficult to do often compared to loving a child through eye contact or through physical contact love.

However, Focused attention love is the most important fundamental necessity in child-rearing.

In addition, focused attention love is an essential way of loving children for all children.

Focused attention love is an extremely important child-raising method for raising children, but it is surprising to see so many parents who act as parents without knowing how to do this or how much to do so.

Nevertheless, there are many parents who learn to focused attention on love and never try to do it even at least once.

I asked 150 Korean-American adults if they had ever had a good time with only one parent on a trip for a single day as a child or adolescent.

Three out of 150 Korean-American adults reported that they had a good time traveling with one parent in elementary and junior high school.

자녀에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 주는 것

자녀들을 집중적으로 관심을 갖고 사랑하는 것
집중적인 관심이란 부모가 자녀 중 한 명과 시간을 보내면서 그 아이를 세상에서 가장 소중한 아이로 여기고 보살피고 사랑하는 것을 말합니다.
이상적인 자녀 사랑의 모습처럼 보이며, 집중적인 관심이란 그 효과가 매우 큰 것을 의미합니다.
한쪽 부모가 한 아이에게 집중하고, 보살피고, 부모의 사랑을 쏟아부어 그 아이가 세상에서 가장 중요한 존재라고 느끼게 해준다면, 아이는 부모에게 가장 소중한 존재라고 느낄 수 있습니다.
아이가 한쪽 부모와 단둘이 있을 때, 아이는 편안하고 행복하며 신이 납니다. 자신이 세상에서 가장 좋은 존재라고 느낄 수도 있습니다.
모든 아이는 태어날 때부터 부모로부터 보호받고 인정받고, 보살핌과 사랑, 애정과 공감을 받을 권리를 가지고 태어납니다. 부모는 그렇게 할 의무가 있습니다. 그런 의미에서 완벽한 부모가 되는 것은 어렵습니다.

바쁘고 정신없는 일상 속에서 부모는 오직 한 아이에게만 시간과 관심을 쏟습니다.
눈맞춤이나 신체 접촉을 통한 사랑보다 오직 한 아이에게만 사랑과 관심, 보살핌을 쏟아붓는 집중적인 사랑은 실천하기가 쉽지 않습니다.
하지만 이러한 집중적인 사랑은 자녀 양육에 있어 가장 중요하고 기본적인 요소입니다.
더 나아가, 모든 아이에게 사랑을 베푸는 필수적인 방법이기도 합니다.
집중적인 사랑은 아이를 키우는 데 있어 매우 중요한 양육 방식이지만, 놀랍게도 많은 부모들이 어떻게 해야 하는지, 얼마나 해야 하는지조차 모른 채 부모 역할을 하고 있습니다.
그럼에도 불구하고, 집중적인 사랑이 무엇인지 배우기만 하고 한 번도 시도해 보지 않는 부모들도 많습니다.
저는 한국계 미국인 성인 150명에게 어린 시절이나 청소년기에 한쪽 부모와만 하루 동안 여행을 가서 좋은 시간을 보낸 적이 있는지 물어보았습니다.
그 결과, 초등학교나 중학교 시절에 한쪽 부모와 함께 여행을 가서 좋은 시간을 보냈다고 답한 사람은 3명에 불과했습니다.

1 It was surprising that the Korean adults who participated in this survey were raised with little focused attention love and care from their parents when they were young children.

But it was very painful to learn that the children of those adults had also grown up without receiving focused attention love from their parents.

All of our parents are unknowingly pouring out their love for their children and acting as parents.

However, our parents are not sure how much positively focused attention love affects their children’s growth and development, especially their mental and emotional health when raising their children.

They don’t even know that it is the most important means of communication between parents and children when one parent gives focused attention love and care to one child at a time.

Photo 62. “One day, my dad and I went hiking. How cool was that! He touched my shoulders, held my hands tightly, and how much fun it was! The time when he lifted me up, put me on my neck, and crossed the gutter! Sitting on a big rock, hugging me with his big arms. I love my father. It was fun even if my cheeks were stabbed in his beard when he kissed me.

How happy I was when I walked with my dad only both! Dad loved me. Dad! Dad! I love Ocean Much and Mountain Much too”.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Picture 63. Inviting friends and gathering family members to have a birthday party is also one kind of focused attention love.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Photo 64. Inviting friends and gathering family members to have a birthday party is also one kind of focused attention love. He missed his mother for some reason,

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

The degree of happiness of the children and the degree to which they grow up with a sense of mental and emotional stability depend a lot on how much they are growing and developing while receiving focused attention love and care from parents.

While children are growing up, focused attention love, and care, eye contact love, physical contact love, and love training are essential for raising children.

이 설문조사에 참여한 한국 성인들이 어린 시절 부모로부터 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 거의 받지 못하고 자랐다는 사실은 놀라웠습니다.
하지만 더 안타까운 것은 그 성인들의 자녀들 또한 부모로부터 집중적인 관심과 사랑을 받지 못하고 자랐다는 점입니다.
우리 부모들은 모두 무의식적으로 자녀에게 사랑을 쏟아붓고 부모 역할을 하고 있습니다.
그러나 부모들은 집중적인 관심과 사랑이 자녀의 성장과 발달, 특히 자녀의 정신적, 정서적 건강에 얼마나 긍정적인 영향을 미치는지 제대로 알지 못합니다.
심지어 부모 중 한 명이 자녀에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑과 보살핌을 주는 것이 부모와 자녀 사이의 가장 중요한 소통 방식이라는 사실조차 모르는 경우가 많습니다.

사진 62. “어느 날, 아빠랑 등산을 갔어요. 얼마나 멋졌는지! 아빠가 제 어깨를 토닥여 주시고, 제 손을 꼭 잡아 주셨는데, 얼마나 재밌었는지! 아빠가 저를 들어 올려 목에 안고 도랑을 건너셨던 때! 큰 바위에 앉아서 아빠의 큰 팔로 저를 꼭 안아 주셨던 때! 저는 아빠를 사랑해요. 아빠가 뽀뽀해 주실 때 볼에 아빠 수염이 파묻혀도 재밌었어요.
아빠랑 둘이서만 걸을 때 얼마나 행복했는지! 아빠는 저를 사랑해 주셨어요. 아빠! 아빠! 저는 바다도, 산도 정말 사랑해요.”
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
사진 63. 친구들을 초대하고 가족들을 모아 생일 파티를 열어주는 것도 집중적인 사랑의 한 종류입니다.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
사진 64. 친구들을 초대하고 가족들을 모아 생일 파티를 열어주는 것도 집중적인 사랑의 한 종류입니다. 그는 무슨 이유인지 어머니가 그리웠다.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
아이들의 행복도와 정신적, 정서적 안정감을 가지고 성장하는 정도는 부모로부터 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 받으며 얼마나 잘 성장하고 발달하는지에 크게 좌우된다.
아이들이 성장하는 동안 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌, 눈맞춤을 통한 사랑, 신체 접촉을 통한 사랑, 그리고 사랑 교육은 아이 양육에 필수적이다.

2 “My parents don’t love me”, or “My parents don’t care about me.” These words are commonly used by teenage children (13-18 years old) these days.

There are many meanings in these words.

There may be complaints that my parents are not interested in me, never go anywhere with me, or play with me.

Mom and Dad often go to dinner parties, wedding parties, reunion gatherings, club activities, etc. to enjoy their own pleasure, go mountaineering, go fishing, go sports, and even travel abroad.

However, growing young children and adolescents are left at home.

Parents also go on a foreign golf trip.

Parents often eat out with someone other than their families, such as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. There are no children here.

Some parents spend their time joyfully and abundantly without accompanying their children in other ways. Even when parents and children are hiking for a short period of time, the dad is walking in front of the younger child and the younger child is walking from behind, or from the side or front. Parents walk without holding their young child’s hands. It is difficult to find the way parents do eye contact love and physical contact love

If may I ask you for forgiveness, I would like to share my personal experiences. In August 1991, “ Translation int Korea version of How to Really Love Your Teenager,” by Ross Campbell, MD, was published in Seomundang, Seoul, Korea

Picture 65. Children are the number one priority in our lives. It is a priority that goes ahead of the company, over the honor, and over money.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

On that day, a free seminar was given by me at the Daejeon YMCA under the theme of “Let’s raise your sons and daughters with unconditional love,” and a copy of Translation into Korea version of ‘How to Really Love Your Teenager’ was presented to 3 dozens of people who attended without any charge.

After Seminar On that day, I went from Daejeon to Seoul by train on the Honam Line with one of my relative sisters.

I had a brief conversation with my relative sister about raising children. The younger sister graduated in one of the famous women’s high schools in Korea and worked for a long time at one of the famous banks in Seoul. Her character was also outstandingly beautiful.

She was a relative younger sister who was raised by her natural father of a rich family.

During a conversation with me, “Opa! In today’s seminar, you said that focused attention love and care is so important for raising children, but I think you’re right.

When I was growing up, my dad never took me for even an hour, never took me anywhere, and never gave me focused attention love, and care, and my dad never played with me for an hour at home.

Whether or not infants are curious about sex and ask questions, it is good to start with appropriate and correct pediatric sex education according to their age and ability to understand.

Many parents say they don’t give their children sex education for children, but parents don’t really know about pediatric sex education since infancy.

When parents and children live in the same home, it’s good to give children sexual education appropriately for their age.

For example, the name of each part of the external genitalia of men and women is taught in standard languages, such as teaching infants and children the names of each part of the body such as the eyes, the nose, and the mouth in standard language.

In a cyber world where men and women can see naked men and women in a medium every day, sex education should not be given to children by using words such as “inner thing”, “chili”, and “it” on the external genitalia.

For example, the names of each part of the external genitalia of a woman or man-penis, volva, scrotum, breasts, etc. should be taught in standard language. This is also part of pediatric sex education.

When your children’s questions about sex are inappropriate or unfamiliar and cannot be answered quickly, do not avoid answering them right away, nor do they answer them incorrectly.

However, whether you can say that “I cannot answer the question because it is inappropriate, or that I will answer it after more study”, you must answer it clearly and seriously.

In addition, instead of answering by yourself, you have to answer clearly, such as asking someone else to answer.

By avoiding answers when children ask questions, they can admit that my parents don’t like us to ask questions about sex, and they no longer ask about sex, even if their children have serious sex issues.

When asked about sex, parents can be uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing.

Nevertheless, answer each of your child’s questions politely, kindly, and simply and clearly.

You should also give them the opportunity to ask questions again.

Do not cover topics of pediatric sex education that are inappropriate and difficult to understand for your children’s age.

And if you do too many children’s sex education at once, they can’t understand them all.

Sometimes, to determine the level of sexual knowledge, pediatric sex education can be provided by parents asking questions directly to them.

Children should be trained not to see, hear, and learn by themselves without parental permission on TV, magazines, radio, and the Internet, such as on TV, and the Internet, about sex-related information that betrays parents’ gender values, violates ethical morals and has no value in child sex education.

Suppose a parent and a child accidentally watch a TV program about AIDS together.

These opportunities can be used to make children age-appropriate pediatric sex education about AIDS. In addition, sexual education can be provided for infectious sexually transmitted diseases other than AIDS.

These days, pediatric sex education is usually provided to students through regular education courses in elementary, middle, and high schools in the United States. However, it is also important to find out how much sex knowledge children have learned and known through the school sex education process.

If necessary, more necessary pedophile sexual knowledge should be learned through regular home pediatric sex education.

When infants aged 3, 4, and 5 years old ask where the baby came from, do not falsely answer that the baby came out in a way that is not true, whether the big stork brought the baby from the mountain, or that it came from the mother’s belly button. The answer should be brief and clear that the baby grew inside the womb of the mother and came out through the vaginal cavity or vaginal birth canal of the mother.

Most of the infants of this age group know some of the differences in the external genitalia of the opposite sexes. However, the egg and sperm meet in the fallopian tube and become a fertilized egg. The fertilized egg implants on the inner wall of the uterus to form a fetus, and the fetus grows in the uterus and is born through the mother’s vaginal birth canal.

They are curious about the external genitalia of the opposite sex and even want to see and touch it. At this time, if infants ask questions about their external genitalia, other people’s external genitalia, or sex, they should answer simply and clearly.

During proper parenting of the children’s eye contact love and physical contact love, neither my child nor another child should not have more physical contact than necessary.

Aside from being properly examined by a doctor, anyone should not make inappropriate contact with the child’s external genitalia or any other part of the body. This is also pediatric sex education.

Don’t let anyone kiss or hug.

Children should give also to educate anyone who should not touch them with inappropriate physical contact.

It is normal for growing children to have some curiosity about sex.

But it teaches them that the other sex matter is very personal privacy.

3 At this time, I watched the tears run down her cheek.

However, my dad raised only one son who was only one son in the two-generation in that family, with so much pampering and love, but my father never took him anywhere.

So I’m trying not to raise my children in that way.”

At this time, more tears ran out of her eyes.

As already mentioned above, “From birth, children have the right to have protection, recognition, care and focused attention love and care from their parents.

In addition, I would like to repeat the statement once again that parents have a duty to fulfill their focused attention love, and care for their children.”

Many parents these days do not give their children focused attention love and care.

Even if they try to do it again, they don’t have time to do it.

Instead of giving focused attention love and care to children, they buy lots of toys, good clothes, or substitute focused attention love, and care with material things such as computers, audio games, consoles, and cars.

In general, many parents tend to replace focused attention love and care by sending them to special education-good schools that are difficult to do, or by sending them to study abroad at an early age for special education.

Photo 66. Children who grow up receiving enough true unconditional love. They love themselves and know how to love others with an abundance of sound healthy self-esteem and pride.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Photo 67. Children who grow up receiving enough genuine, unconditional love, know to love themselves and know how to love others with a lot of sound pride.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Of course, children need a good education, good toys, and good food, clothing, and comfortable shelter.

Of course, parents also need leisure.

It is absolutely a big mistake for parents to substitute focused attention love and care for material things instead of giving them focused attention to love and care directly to their children.

Children, of course, need a good education, good clothes, safety home, toys, and other appropriate material things, but focused attention love and care are absolutely necessary for them.

Today, many parents are well aware that their children grow up normally only when they give their children focused attention love, and care, but living in a society where it is difficult to do focused attention love and care is a big problem.

For one reason or another, many parents know focused attention love, and care is important for raising their children, but cannot give focused attention to love and care.

In a life of turbulence to love their children with focused attention love and care, parents must set aside time to spend time with one child as mentioned already.

In most cases, it takes at least hours or days to give focused attention love, and care, not just a few minutes.

But there are so many things that parents have to do other than the time that parents have to spend with one child.

4 If you just hear the phone ringing, you should answer the phone.

You need to clean the car and put gas in the car.

You should send flowers to your parents’ birthday and a congratulatory cake on your parents’ birthday.

You should also go to the reunion meeting.

There is so much to do. You go to church.

Therefore, parents are forced to set priorities in their busy lives.

We have to set priorities and deal with them one by one according to the priorities.

This is absolutely necessary for raising children.

It is extremely necessary not only in raising children but also in each individual’s life.

In other words, parents must start by setting priorities in their life.

Just before you start building a house, you need to start with the design you need to build it.

Priorities in our lives are different for each individual.

Therefore, no one else can set your priorities.

You have to decide for yourself.

Your priorities may differ depending on how important your spiritual life is to you.

Each person’s view of life may have different priorities depending on their view of religion.

Priorities may differ depending on the era and country in which you live.

For example, the priority of those who believe in God and live happily and successfully in this world. God, me, wife or husband, and children are the order of their priority lives.

In terms of it, there is no priority in this world that precedes children other than God, me, and a wife or husband.

During my pediatric practice for children and adolescents, I have surveyed on the subject of “How to Love and Raise your Children and what is your life priorities.

According to the results of the survey, some parents replied that they lived with priorities such as “money over children,” “honor over wives,” and “children over husband”.

Fortunately, she herself is not at the top priority in her life, But her husband is next and then herself, and after that, most parents answered that their children are the most important priority in their life.

How have you set priorities in your life?

In fact, in this tumultuous cyber global village, in this society, aside from all things, one parent takes only one child and spends hours or days in two together to take care of and love their children. It is difficult to make it.

It takes little time for parents to love their children with eye contact love and physical contact love.

However, it takes a lot of time to give focused attention love, and care. Time is gold.

4
전화벨 소리가 들리면 받아야 합니다.

차를 청소하고 기름도 넣어야 합니다.

부모님 생신에 꽃과 축하 케이크를 보내드려야 합니다.

동창회에도 참석해야 합니다.

할 일이 너무 많습니다. 교회에도 가야 합니다.
따라서 부모는 바쁜 일상 속에서 우선순위를 정할 수밖에 없습니다.
우리는 우선순위를 정하고 그 우선순위에 따라 하나씩 처리해야 합니다.
이는 자녀 양육에 절대적으로 필요합니다.
자녀 양육뿐만 아니라 모든 개인의 삶에도 매우 중요합니다.
다시 말해, 부모는 삶의 우선순위를 정하는 것부터 시작해야 합니다.

집을 짓기 전에 먼저 설계부터 해야 하는 것처럼 말입니다.

삶의 우선순위는 사람마다 다릅니다.

그러므로 다른 사람이 당신의 우선순위를 정해줄 수 없습니다.

스스로 결정해야 합니다.
당신의 우선순위는 신앙생활이 얼마나 중요한지에 따라 달라질 수 있습니다.

각자의 삶에 대한 관점은 종교관에 따라 우선순위가 다를 수 있습니다.
우선순위는 시대와 국가에 따라서도 달라질 수 있습니다.
예를 들어, 신을 믿고 이 세상에서 행복하고 성공적으로 살아가는 사람들의 우선순위는 신, 자신, 배우자, 자녀 순입니다.
이러한 관점에서 볼 때, 신, 자신, 배우자 외에는 자녀보다 우선시되는 것은 세상에 없습니다.

소아청소년 진료를 하면서 “자녀를 사랑하고 양육하는 방법”과 “인생의 우선순위는 무엇인가”라는 주제로 설문조사를 실시했습니다.
설문조사 결과, 일부 부모들은 “돈이 자녀보다 중요하다”, “남편보다 명예가 중요하다”, “자녀가 남편보다 중요하다”와 같은 우선순위를 두고 있다고 답했습니다.
다행히 본인은 삶의 최우선 순위는 아니었지만, 남편이 그 다음이었고, 자신은 그 다음이었으며, 대부분의 부모들은 자녀가 인생에서 가장 중요한 우선순위라고 답했습니다.
여러분은 삶의 우선순위를 어떻게 정하고 계신가요?
사실, 이처럼 혼란스러운 사이버 글로벌 빌리지에서, 다른 모든 것을 제쳐두고 한 부모가 오직 한 자녀만을 돌보고 사랑하기 위해 하루 종일, 혹은 며칠씩 함께 시간을 보내는 것은 쉽지 않습니다.
부모가 눈을 마주치고 신체 접촉을 통해 자녀를 사랑하는 데는 짧은 시간이 걸립니다.
하지만 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 주는 데는 많은 시간이 필요합니다. 시간은 금입니다.

5 We are all given equally 365 days a year, 7 days a week, and 24 hours a day.

It is not so easy for everyone to divide the given limited time and spend it as a time to pay attention to and to love your child.

For one reason or another, there are too many parents who live without giving their children enough focused attention love, and care.

6 Photo 68. There are so many things to do in our lives. We must prioritize. Money is important, and honor and job are important. But in our lives, children are at a higher priority than anything else. Only by focused attention love and care for him, they do their best and grow up with healthy self-esteem and pride.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

One day at the New York Airport, a friend from Korea suddenly telephone called me. He asked me to pick up him from New York Airport at my house at 6 p.m. tomorrow. It was nice that a close friend came from Korea to the United States and visitors to our house.

Local pediatricians in this town and I both have had an evening coverage for the emergency pediatric calls for almost two decades on an on-call basis. According to the on-call schedule, I was on duty tomorrow evening.

I hung up the phone after we talked a little while, “I’ll give you an answer a little later because I will be on call tomorrow.”

Immediately afterward, I called Dr. Kelly, one of the pediatricians, and I begged him and said to him, “If you take the on-call for me for a few hours tomorrow, I will pay a considerable compensation and also I will take the on-call for when you need later, and I will do compensate for you accordingly”

“He can’t,” he said.

The reason was simple.

He said to me, “I promised a long time ago to go to the circus with my 6-year-old daughter, Carol, tomorrow afternoon.”

Dr, Kelly, a doctor who was always busy with his pediatric practice and said that “I am sorry for not being able to help you because I have to take care of his children.” He thought that his little daughter Carol was more important than my circumstances and my request. He knew his daughter is more important than money.

And I thought doctor Kelly’s decision to deal with this situation, including the inability to break his promise to his little daughter Carol, was very appropriate.

The Eastern Confucian ideology and precept of “govern me first, then rule over my family, and then take care government” are also applied here.

Parents can take advantage of the opportunity to focused attention love and care and have a great opportunity to better care for their children and to communicate more with them so that they can communicate more with children.

In addition, children who are loved by focused attention love and care will be excited and comfortable, so parents have to talk about the worries, anxiety, mental and physical pain that children have deep inside their hearts, and the common problem “adolescent disease” that occurs during puberty. You will have a great opportunity to inform them and your parents will listen.

During focused attention love and care are given parents can have the best parent-child conversation.

5 우리 모두에게는 1년 365일, 1주일 7일, 1일 24시간이 똑같이 주어졌습니다.
하지만 주어진 한정된 시간을 나누어 자녀에게 관심을 기울이고 사랑을 주는 데 쓰는 것은 누구에게나 쉬운 일이 아닙니다.
여러 가지 이유로 자녀에게 충분한 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 주지 못하고 살아가는 부모들이 너무나 많습니다.

6 사진 68. 우리 삶에는 해야 할 일이 너무나 많습니다. 우리는 우선순위를 정해야 합니다. 돈도 중요하고, 명예와 직업도 중요합니다. 하지만 우리 삶에서 자녀는 그 무엇보다 최우선 순위입니다. 자녀에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 줄 때 비로소 아이들은 최선을 다해 건강한 자존감과 자부심을 가지고 성장할 수 있습니다.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
어느 날 뉴욕 공항에서 한국에 있는 친구에게 갑자기 전화가 왔습니다. 내일 저녁 6시에 뉴욕 공항에서 제 집으로 데리러 와달라는 것이었습니다. 친한 친구가 한국에서 미국에 와서 우리 집에 손님들이 와준 건 정말 좋은 일이었어요.
이 동네 소아과 의사 두 명은 거의 20년 동안 당직으로 저녁 시간대 소아 응급 환자 진료를 맡아왔어요. 당직표에 따르면 내일 저녁은 제 당직이었죠.
잠시 통화를 하고 나서 “내일 당직이라 나중에 다시 연락드릴게요.”라고 말하고 전화를 끊었어요.
그러고 나서 바로 켈리 박사님께 전화를 걸어 간절히 부탁했어요. “내일 몇 시간만이라도 저 대신 당직을 서주시면 상당한 금액을 지불할게요. 그리고 나중에 박사님께서 필요하실 때도 제가 대신 당직을 서겠습니다. 그때도 그에 상응하는 보상을 해드릴게요.”
“안 돼요.” 박사님이 말씀하셨어요.

이유는 간단했어요.

박사님이 “내일 오후에 여섯 살 된 딸 캐럴과 서커스에 가기로 오래전에 약속했거든요.”라고 하셨어요.

소아과 진료로 늘 바쁜 켈리 박사는 “아이들을 돌봐야 해서 도와드릴 수 없어 미안하다”라고 말했습니다. 그는 어린 딸 캐롤이 제 상황이나 요청보다 더 중요하다고 생각했습니다. 돈보다 딸이 더 소중하다는 것을 알고 있었던 것입니다.
저는 켈리 박사가 어린 딸 캐롤과의 약속을 어기지 않고 이 상황을 처리한 방식이 매우 적절하다고 생각했습니다.
“먼저 나를 다스리고, 그 다음에 가족을 돌보고, 그 다음에 국정을 돌보라”는 동양 유교 사상과 가르침이 여기에 적용된 것입니다.
부모는 자녀에게 집중적인 사랑과 보살핌을 줄 수 있는 기회를 활용해야 하며, 이를 통해 자녀를 더 잘 돌보고 더 많이 소통할 수 있습니다.
또한, 집중적인 사랑과 보살핌을 받는 아이들은 행복하고 편안해지기 때문에, 부모는 아이들이 마음속 깊이 품고 있는 걱정, 불안, 정신적·육체적 고통, 그리고 사춘기에 흔히 발생하는 “청소년기 질환”과 같은 문제에 대해 이야기를 나누어야 합니다. 부모님께 정보를 전달할 좋은 기회가 생길 것이고, 부모님은 귀 기울여 들어주실 것입니다.
집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌이 주어지는 동안 부모는 자녀와 가장 좋은 대화를 나눌 수 있습니다.

7 One of the best ways to raise children to facilitate communication with your children is this focused attention love and care.

Nevertheless, at the restaurant, not one or two, dozens of young parents spend hours eating, drinking, and having fun without children.

Sometimes the young children in the house are able to receive focused attention love and care.

and children felt they are the most important priority.

I used to play golf with one of my sons when was in his first year of college.

Photo 69. Even during a busy life, taking only one of several children for walking or fishing, taking care of and loving him so that he feels that he is the most important and loveliest child in the world is called focused attention love, and care.

It is difficult to do this kind of focused attention love and care often, but if you do well with focused attention love and care, eye contact love, and physical contact love properly at the same time, children will open the psychological window of their hearts and solve their problems deep in their hearts to parents.

Without hesitation, you can find out the problems that their children have, such as anxiety, pain, and conflict, and parents are very helpful in solving those problems.

8 While playing golf with one of my sons, we talked about the people living one way or another.

My son asked me, “Which of the motives was the most successful?”

I briefly talked about some of the motives for success.

I asked my son how his relationship with his girlfriend is these days.

My son’s answer was this.

“We are not seeing any more”. When I asked why, he said, “she lied and I would not meet”.

When I asked what a lie was,

“She lied about not smoking while she was smoking,” he said.

When I asked him how he knew if she had smoked, he replied, “When I kissed, I smelled a cigarette.”

Likewise, if a dad gives focused attention love, and care to a child while playing golf together with a young child or an adolescent child who has just passed puberty, both young child and adolescent child can communicate with hisr parent by confessing their extremely private privacy issues to their parent. It can be an opportunity to do it.

One child before puberty, or an adolescent and one parent together, walking or fishing, traveling for a day or a few days, eating at a restaurant with only one child, caring for and loving the child while amusing and loving when you do, the child will feel happy.

At this time, if one parent is with one child and gives focused attention love, and care so that the child feels the most precious in the world, loves with good eye contact, loves with proper physical contact, cares for and fills his love tank sufficiently to overflow. It would be even better.

It is even more difficult to take only one among many children and set aside time to give focused attention love and care.

Sometimes, when other children or family members go somewhere for something, and one child is alone in the house, one parent can give the child-focused attention love, and care. Sometimes two parents can make focused attention to love and care for their child together.

자녀와의 원활한 소통을 위한 가장 좋은 양육 방법 중 하나는 바로 이러한 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 그리고 보살핌입니다.
하지만 식당에 가면 한두 명이 아니라 수십 명의 젊은 부모들이 아이들 없이 몇 시간씩 먹고 마시고 즐기는 모습을 흔히 볼 수 있습니다.
때때로 집에서 어린 자녀들은 부모로부터 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 그리고 보살핌을 받을 기회를 가져야 합니다.
그리고 아이들은 자신이 세상에서 가장 중요한 존재라고 느낄 것입니다.
저는 아들이 대학 1학년 때 함께 골프를 치곤 했습니다.
사진 69. 바쁜 삶 속에서도 여러 자녀 중 한 명과 산책을 하거나 낚시를 가면서, 그 아이가 세상에서 가장 중요하고 사랑스러운 아이라는 것을 느끼게 해 주는 것, 이것이 바로 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 그리고 보살핌입니다.
이러한 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 그리고 보살핌을 자주 실천하기는 어렵지만, 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 눈맞춤을 통한 사랑, 그리고 신체 접촉을 통한 사랑을 적절히 병행한다면, 아이들은 마음의 창을 열고 마음속 깊은 곳에 있는 고민들을 부모에게 털어놓을 것입니다.

8 아들 중 한 명과 골프를 치면서, 우리는 다양한 방식으로 살아가는 사람들에 대해 이야기를 나누었습니다.
아들이 제게 물었습니다. “어떤 동기가 가장 성공적이었나요?”
저는 성공의 동기 몇 가지에 대해 간략하게 이야기했습니다.
아들에게 요즘 여자친구와 어떻게 지내는지 물었습니다.
아들의 대답은 이랬습니다.
“더 이상 만나지 않아요.” 이유를 묻자, “그녀가 거짓말을 해서 만나지 않았어요.”라고 했습니다.
거짓말이 무엇인지 묻자,
“담배를 피우면서 안 피운다고 거짓말을 했어요.”라고 했습니다.
어떻게 알았냐고 묻자, “키스할 때 담배 냄새가 났어요.”라고 대답했습니다.

마찬가지로, 아빠가 어린 자녀나 사춘기를 막 지난 청소년 자녀와 함께 골프를 치면서 아이에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 준다면, 아이는 부모에게 매우 사적인 문제들을 털어놓으며 소통할 수 있는 기회가 될 수 있습니다.
사춘기 이전의 아이나 청소년 자녀와 부모 중 한 명이 함께 산책이나 낚시를 하거나, 하루나 며칠 동안 여행을 가거나, 아이와 단둘이 식당에 가서 식사를 하거나, 아이를 돌보고 사랑하며 즐겁게 해주는 시간을 갖는다면 아이는 행복을 느낄 것입니다.
이때, 부모 중 한 명이 아이에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 주어 아이가 세상에서 가장 소중한 존재라고 느끼게 해주고, 눈을 마주치며 사랑을 표현하고, 적절한 신체 접촉을 통해 사랑을 주고, 아이의 사랑을 충분히 채워준다면 더욱 좋을 것입니다.
하지만 여러 자녀 중 단 한 명을 골라 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 주는 것은 더욱 어려운 일입니다.

때때로 다른 자녀나 가족 구성원이 어딘가로 외출하여 한 아이가 집에 혼자 남게 될 때, 한쪽 부모가 그 아이에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 줄 수 있습니다. 때로는 두 부모가 함께 아이에게 집중적인 사랑과 보살핌을 줄 수도 있습니다. 9

9 Parents and family members can give focused attention love and care to their children by holding a birthday party on their children’s birthdays, and the method of placing a flagpole near the entrance of the house door saying “Welcome you” on the returning day from the travel return is one kind of focused attention love. It’s one of the ways to love.

On the day of the guest’s arrival, a flagpole saying “Welcome you, Dr. John Lee to our house” is posted outside the entrance door.

I think the guests who come are very fond of it.

I give them focused attention love, and care. in addition, you can deliberately find opportunities to give focused attention love and care to your children and

Photo 71. An aunt who is happy after receiving a birthday cake from one of her nephews and receiving eye contact love and focused attention love and care.

Grandmothers, mothers, adolescent children, and young children also like them when they receive focused attention love and care.

Photo 70. A mother who visited her daughter.

An elderly mother who enjoys the physical contact love and focused attention love and care she receives from her daughter. Grandmothers, mothers, adolescent children, and young children all equally like it when they receive focused attention love, and care.

Photo 72. You can make focused attention love and care while celebrating a teen’s birthday.

Grandmothers, mothers, adolescent children, and young children also like it when they receive focused attention love and care.

Photo 73. The grandmother will also like it.

While giving a birthday party like this, Children take care of her with focused attention love and care.

Grandmothers, mothers, adolescents, and young children also like them when they receive focused attention love and care.

10 Photo 74. Dad who gives focused attention love and care, and physical contact love

It is also a part of focused attention love and cares that the entire family gathers and holds a celebration party for the graduated child. In such a case, not only one child and one parent, but the whole family can give focused attention love, and care to only one child for his birthday.

In puberty, adolescent children often make plans for what to do as they do, so parents cannot support them even if they want to give their adolescent focused attention love, and care.

Parents sometimes make plans to give their adolescent children focused attention, caring love.

However, a child may reject the opportunities that a parent has planned to give them focused attention love, and care.

There are many personal things that adolescent children have to do personally, not because they hate to receive focused attention love, and care from their parents, and not all parents know about it.

Even adolescent children have to prioritize and live their lives.

That’s why they can’t always receive the focused attention love and care their parents want to do, and sometimes they can’t spend time leisurely with their parents.

In this world, there are many parents who have never been able to give such important focused attention love and care in raising their children, and there are also children who have never received such love.

Where can children receive this kind of focused attention love and care that they basically need?

They can get it from people who promise to give them that kind of love instead of my parents.

There are many people around our children who promise to give such focused attention love and care instead of their parents.

How scary and chilling my heart is when I think that my dear child can be dragged into their hands one day without my permission.

Young infants, including adolescents, and school-age children find and want more than money, more than honor, more than anything else, their parents’ warm-hearted contact love, appropriate physical contact love, and focused attention love, and care.

And besides, it is the training of parents to do with true unconditional love.

See “Focused attention Love and care” in “How Do I Love and Raise My Children?” and “Love.

부모와 가족 구성원은 자녀의 생일에 생일 파티를 열어주거나, 여행에서 돌아온 날 집 입구에 “환영합니다”라는 글귀가 적힌 깃발을 꽂아두는 것과 같이 자녀에게 특별한 관심과 사랑을 표현할 수 있습니다. 이는 사랑을 보여주는 한 가지 방법입니다.
손님이 오는 날, “존 리 박사님, 저희 집에 오신 것을 환영합니다”라는 글귀가 적힌 깃발을 현관 밖에 꽂아두면
손님들이 매우 좋아할 것입니다.
저는 그들에게 특별한 관심과 사랑을 보여줍니다. 또한, 의도적으로 자녀에게 특별한 관심과 사랑을 줄 수 있는 기회를 만들어 보세요.
사진 71. 조카에게서 생일 케이크를 받고 눈을 마주치며 사랑과 관심을 표현받은 이모의 행복한 모습.

할머니, 어머니, 청소년, 어린아이들도 특별한 관심과 사랑을 받을 때 좋아합니다.

10 사진 74. 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 그리고 신체적 접촉을 통해 사랑을 주는 아빠
저작권 ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
온 가족이 모여 자녀의 졸업을 축하하는 파티를 여는 것 또한 집중적인 관심과 사랑의 한 부분입니다. 이러한 경우, 한 자녀와 한 부모만이 아니라 온 가족이 한 자녀의 생일에 집중적인 관심과 사랑을 줄 수 있습니다.
사춘기 아이들은 하고 싶은 대로 계획을 세우는 경우가 많아 부모가 집중적인 관심과 사랑을 주고 싶어도 제대로 도와줄 수 없는 경우가 있습니다.
부모는 때때로 사춘기 자녀에게 집중적인 관심과 사랑을 주려고 계획을 세우지만,

자녀는 부모가 계획한 기회를 거부할 수도 있습니다.

청소년기 자녀들이 개인적으로 처리해야 할 일들이 많은데, 이는 부모로부터 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 받는 것을 싫어해서가 아닙니다. 그리고 모든 부모가 이를 아는 것도 아닙니다.
청소년기 자녀들도 자신의 삶을 우선순위에 두고 살아가야 합니다.
그래서 부모가 원하는 만큼의 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 항상 받을 수 없고, 때로는 부모와 여유로운 시간을 보낼 수 없는 것입니다.
이 세상에는 자녀 양육에 있어 그토록 중요한 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 충분히 주지 못한 부모들이 많고, 그런 사랑을 한 번도 받아보지 못한 아이들도 있습니다.
그렇다면 아이들은 어디에서 그들에게서 그토록 절실히 필요한 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 받을 수 있을까요?
그들은 부모 대신 그런 사랑을 주겠다고 약속하는 사람들로부터 그것을 얻을 수도 있습니다.

우리 아이들 주변에는 부모 대신 집중적인 관심과 사랑, 보살핌을 주겠다고 약속하는 사람들이 많습니다.
사랑하는 내 아이가 언젠가 내 허락도 없이 그들의 손에 넘어갈지도 모른다는 생각에 가슴이 철렁 내려앉습니다.

유아부터 청소년, 학령기 아동에 이르기까지 모든 연령대의 아이들은 돈이나 명예, 그 무엇보다 부모의 따뜻한 애정 어린 접촉, 적절한 신체 접촉, 그리고 집중적인 관심과 보살핌을 갈망합니다.
또한, 이는 부모가 진정한 무조건적인 사랑을 실천하는 방법을 배우는 과정이기도 합니다.

자세한 내용은 “내 아이를 어떻게 사랑하고 키워야 할까요?”와 “사랑”의 “집중적인 관심과 사랑, 그리고 보살핌” 부분을 참조하십시오.

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