How to unconditionally and really love your children 자녀를 조건 없이 진심으로 사랑하는 방법
Photo 34. Eye contact love, physical contact love, focused attention love, and training with love give children plenty of true unconditional love and fill their love tank, and they will be happy and do their best no matter what they do and have healthy self-esteem and pride. Children who are so loved and raised will not be suffering from depression, and they know how to love themselves and to love others. Would you like to have a child who is not happy to have a thousand-pound gold? Love your children a lot and raise children with a lot of unconditional love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
When the children do wrong, many people think that their wrong behavior is due to the wrong parenting and not good training methods of their parents. That makes sense too.
Whether other people blame their parents for misreading and their children do it wrong,
or, school officials and educators have misled their education and pass responsibility to schools or teachers for their misbehaving.
It makes sense to pass the blame on parents and educators for misbehaving children because educators miseducate them and parents control them incorrectly.
Of course, parents, school officials, and educators may be responsible to some extent, but most of the causes of problems in adolescent children may also lie in the adolescent children themselves.
Problems related to innate temperament often arise in adolescent children.
Therefore, the cause of the wrongdoing of adolescent children cannot be entirely passed on to the faults of their parents, their school authorities or educators, or the state or society.
Depending on their natural temperament, some preadolescent children and adolescent children are easier to handle and easier to raise, while others are difficult to handle and difficult to nurture. There are also adolescent children that are easy to train and adolescent children that are difficult to train.
There are pre-adolescent children or adolescents who have loved more because of their temperament, some adolescent children, and some pre-adolescent children who are loved less.
For teachers and parents to train adolescent children well, parents especially need to be aware of each child’s natural temperament. It is very important to take into account his natural temperament and raise children according to that natural temperament.
Through Spartan education, Spartan training method, Jewish parenting, and training method, American parenting, and training method, Han Seok-bong’s mother’s parenting method, Mencius’s mother or Yulgok’s mother’s parenting and training method, you cannot raise children, and you cannot train children uniformly.
These days are the age of IT information cyber.
Children born to the same parents cannot be raised and trained uniformly in the same way.
While raising children, you can compare and raise each child, but you shouldn’t train them the same way.
There is one more thing that must be pointed out here.
Parents’ love should also be unconditional love no matter what.
Unconditional love is one kind of ideal love, and unconditional love cannot be 100% complete.
However, the more a couple makes love that is close to 100% unconditional love, the smoother the marital relationship will be, and the more stable, smooth, and happy marital life will be.
Children who are raised by their mothers and fathers who live a smooth and stable marital life will also be mentally stable, peaceful, and happy.
The life of a married couple who love conditionally and do not truly love each other is not smooth and stable in marital relationships, and the children of the family are not stable.
Children can not grow up safely and happily if an unstable parental marriage.
Parents must have a smooth and stable marriage so that their children can be happy.
The stability of the parents’ marriage determines how happy their children are. Of course, there are exceptions, but what can determine the success or failure of children depends a lot on how stable their parental marriage life is.
Parents are directly and indirectly responsible for every type of behavior in children and adolescents on a daily basis.
Therefore, parenting is quite difficult. However, anyone can be a good parent if they try.
It is very important for parents to have the confidence to raise their children to live happily and sincerely without conditional love.
Their parents do not have unconditional true love with each other and have a lot of conflict between couples for various reasons do not feel happy, are difficult to act the best, and do their best no matter what they do.
The marital relationship should be based on unconditional love and an amicable marital relationship should be established.
They have to truly do unconditional love.
The life of parents also should be an example for their children. Parents should truly love their children unconditionally in any case.
As already explained, true real love for a child whether he or she is disabled or not, ugly or handsome, with or without strengths, with or without disadvantages, behaves well or does not, is called unconditional love for children.
Whether she or he is an adopted child or a stepchild, you must truly love and raise them with unconditional
love.
Unconditional love does not mean that parents like and accept their children’s wrong actions or words unconditionally.
“Love is a word or action or a warm heart that cares for herself or himself and cares for the other person.”
Therefore, if parents love their children, parents should not accept wrong behaviors and wrong actions or wrong words unconditionally.
If children’s behavior or adolescent’s bad behavior is ignored, some children cannot discern whether their behavior is right or wrong, they can continue to do such wrong behavior because they cannot discern what is right and what is wrong, and how to behave correctly. They can’t learn how, and they can repeat wrong actions again.
Parents should give really love to their children and they should not neglect them to prevent repeat bad actions or bad words.
If you fulfill your parenting duties, and rights as parents, nurture them by setting an example, and sincerely love for your children without the condition, they will gradually one by one, abandon childish behavior in maturity and will act maturely.
Like many parents, if they love their children only when they please their parents, they cannot truly feel that they are receiving unconditional love from their parents.
They don’t know much because they’re young and can’t make good judgments.
Adolescent children also belong to the growing immature children, and all children are children to be grown, so they play like the children and act like children grown.
In this world, there are no perfect people, no perfect adults, no parents.
Moreover, growing-up children are not perfect.
Children and adolescents cannot always behave to satisfy their parents as they wish.
Growing up without unconditional and genuine love from their parents will damage their image and will not be able to act more maturely.
If parents love their children only when they satisfy their needs and expectations, their feelings and behavior will be impaired.
Nevertheless, there are so many children in this world who grew up to receive conditional love from their parents and to become adults.
It is common to see a lot of people who treat other people conditionally, and also parents, our family members, and even when their children grow up, they treat them conditionally.
Children who have been brought up with true unconditional love know how to love others, including their families, unconditionally from an early age, grow up physically, mentally, emotionally, in healthy, and do their best in whatever they do. And they live with sound healthy self-esteem and pride.
Many parents are convinced that they love their children, but unfortunately, they love their children conditionally and really they do not really love them, but sometimes they do give possessive love, role-reversal love, and seduce love and also sometimes raise them with vicarious love to their children.
What’s even more frightening and sad is that parents love their children seductively. As a result, we can see the image of today’s children and adolescents reflected in the mirror in this society.
There are too many parents who truly love their children unconditionally, but do not know how to convey that love to them.
Perhaps I was one of those parents.
We have not learned to truly love our children without condition in the Western way.
I saw young high school girls in Korea standing at Bongeunsa Temple on the 8th of April, 2012 when was the Sakyamuni’s birthday, saying they were giving free hugs.
They stood there saying they were giving free hugs to any others, but they seemed to be standing there because they wanted to get free hugs.
Most parents love their children sincerely and unconditionally, but parents don’t know how to convey their love to their children.
In addition, there are many cases where it is difficult to convey the love of parents to their children and cannot be surely conveyed. Still, many parents are not trying to learn.
For that reason, children are unconditionally and genuinely loved by their parents, but their love for their children is not well communicated to them, so many children do not feel that they are receiving true and unconditional love from their parents.
This is the greatest misfortune among parents and children nowadays.
We hear and see a lot of examples like this wherever we live.
Even nowadays, many parents love and raise their children in a vague and natural way to raise their children.
Nowadays child sex education is being taught to do sexual life scientifically, our parents should do their best to love their children scientifically, reasonably and effectively.
And also nowadays, novice parents learn information about pregnancy, labor, delivery, and child-rearing through pregnancy and childbirth education classes, parental education courses, and reference books on raising various children and obtain them through the internet.
And learn more scientifically to convey true, unconditional love to them, and love them right.
If you search for Bible on the Internet Google search, “About 464,000,000 results (0.19 seconds) links were found to learn more scientifically to convey true, unconditional love to them, and love them right.
Searching for the Bible on the Internet Google search is “About 464,000,000 results (0.19 seconds), About 245,000,000 results (0.31 seconds)” (March 8, 2012) was found.
In order for parents to love their children scientifically, parents must specifically learn how to love their children through parent education or reference books.
In addition, you should learn many useful words to use when learning how to love your children effectively.
Recently, there is a term “skinship”. The meaning of the word “skinship” and the word “physical contact love” are very different.
Of course, I also became a doctor without learning what the meaning of love was. Then I married and raised two sons and one daughter.
Also, until I didn’t do this research, I vaguely knew the meaning of love.
In addition, I have learned many words necessary for raising children these days, such as eye contact love, physical contact love, focused attention love, and care, and unconditional love about what skinship is.
However, while majoring in pediatrics in the United States, I learned a lot from parents of pediatric patients or American nurses about these words necessary for raising children.
Fortunately, I read the books “How to Really Love Your Child” and “How to Really Love Your Teenager” written by Ross Campbell, MD about 25 years ago.
After that, “How to Really Love Your Teenager” by Ross Campbell, MD published by Victor Publishing, and “Raise teenage sons and daughters like this was translated into Korean by me” was published in Seomundang in 1980.
I confess here that I have learned a lot from that time to love my children more scientifically.
After that, I read “How to Really Love Your Child” written by Ross Campbell, MD and it was translated into Korean as“True Child Love” and learned a lot of the meanings of words about child love, such as eye contact love, physical contact love, true love, and unconditional love.
After that, when I was treating children in my pediatric office, and when I saw them in a hospital pediatric ward, I sometimes heard the nurses telling me, “That child doesn’t have eye contact.”
Also, a pediatric patient said, “I am not well hugged by my parents or my nurses.” In other words, I sometimes hear the words “That kid doesn’t do physical contact well.”
And I learned words about the love of children, such as eye contact love and physical contact love.
In the meantime, I have treated a lot of pediatric patients using the method of love for children that I have heard and learned while treating children with children, and the method of love for my children learned in “How to Really Love Your Teenager” and “How to Really Love Your Child.”
I am convinced how scientific, practical, correct, and realistic how to love children described in the two books mentioned above, when carefully observing the actual scenes of parents’ love for their children while I was treating children at my office for past almost 40 years.
I raised a sunizer dog (picture 3-214) called “Meggie”.
Photo 3-214. Meggie wanted to receive eye contact love, physical contact love, and focused attention love and care more than the human beings, as well as our families, and she also wants to receive eye contact love, physical contact love, and focused attention love and care from both owners and guests too. She did a lot of work and left this world. And she taught me a lot. Thank you, Meggi very much. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Meggie wanted to receive eye contact love, physical contact love, and focused attention love, and care as well as other people, and he loved me with eye contact love, physical contact love, and focused attention love, and care as I di to her. Bu One she left this world. I had seminars on “How to Love and Raise Children” in various places under the arrangement of a Korean Church in the United States and Mayor Cho Gyu-seon in Seosan City, Korea.
Unfortunately, a large number of people and a crowd (?) gathered in the sex education seminar for adults given by a nurse from Korea, but it seemed that many people did not attend to the seminar on “How to Raise and Love Children” given by me, and the seminar did not receive a good response.
So-called “intellectuals,” asked, “Is there a special need to learn how to love my children?” Some parents asked, “Why should I need to take a busy time to attend to kind of seminars?”
After that, unfortunately, the book “Raise your teenage sons and daughters like this” was not republished for various reasons one after the initial first publication.
However, “How to Really Love Your Child” (published by the Navigator is still available now.
Subscribing to the English publication “How to Really Love Your Teenager” and “How to Really Love Your Child” will help you raise your child.
For reference, I think it is an infinite honor to be able to write and post this kind of article by myself without looking at the manuscript or reference book.
There are many ways to love your children and how to convey your love to your children.
Eye contact love,
Physical contact love,
Focused attention love and care
And training with love.
True, unconditional love should be right so that parents’ love can be effectively communicated to their children.
For reference, the Korean word ‘skinship’ seems to mean “Physical Contact Love”, but these two words should not be confused.
No matter how much true love is right and unconditional for children, that love is not enough for them. You love them a lot and You have to raise them.
See each of the following sections on how to effectively communicate parental love to your children.