How to Raise Your Sons and Daughters. 아들과 딸을 키우는 방법

Author, John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Published by John S Lee

Disclaimer

The information contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your doctor.

There may be variations in treatment that your doctor may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

Resume

John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP.

Born in Anmyeon-do, Taean-gun, Chungnam, Korea
Graduated from Yonsei University College of Medicine
Susan Free Health Clinic and Served as a Korean military doctor
Pediatric Resident Training at UCONN Medical School, Connecticut, USA and Yale University School of Medicine
American Board Certified Pediatrician and Korean Board Certified Pediatrician
Medical License, for New York State, North Carolina State, Connecticut State, Korean
John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP, Pediatric Practice for 32 years, Willimantic, Conn, USA
Author: Home Pediatric medical care- Encyclopedia-Bumodo-ban-eusaga-deeja-handa, Raise Sons and Daughters wth unconditional love, and Hunmnity Education such as Growth and development and parenting, Pediatric and adolescent Epilepsy + 100 questions and answers onepilepsy,www.koreapediatrics.com (2001-present) website, www.doctorleeflowerphoto.com. and more
Clinical Assistant Professor, Pediatrics, UCONN Medical School, Connecticut, USA
Connecticut Korean Society Association, Chairmpers0n

Preface…………………………………………………2

It is an honor to present ” How to raise Your Sons and Daughters ” to people all over world, especially 80 million Koreans in my mother country in South Korea and North Korea.
Foods, shelter, clothes, health and love are the most basic human necessity for children as well as adults.

In addition that also they should be healthy, happy, and productive life with healthy self-esteem. My wife and I raised our two sons and one daughter without the fundamental parenting knowledge such as unconditional love and training children with love and so on.

I have been practicing in pediatrics for nearly 43 years at Willimantic, Connecticut, USA.

This book will give how to parenting for love, cognitive and virtue education for children and adolescents (0-18 years old).

This book also is for child-rearing guidelines that are easy to understand and practical and are compiled based on information obtained from extensive sources such as from various pediatric textbooks, journals, and the experience for 57 years medical professional career.

.”How to raise your sons and daughters” means how to love and raise your children and adolescents, how to get enough sleep, how to get the highest level of mental health, cognitive education, how to cultivate physical education, and how to become a productive member with healthy self-esteem and pride as a member in this society.

How can parents love their children while they are growing up and developing into adulthoods, how to communicate between children and parents well, how to express anger properly, how to relieve stress, how to prevent teenagers to run away, bullying, teenage pregnancy, theft, lies, child-raising information, such as child abuse, is also provided here?

If you read “How to Raise your sons and daughters” and you will get a lot of information for raising children. It will give you the ideal directions for raising children and give you what was wrong and what was right parenting.

This book will serve as a shining light so that parents can be extremely rewarded with what they did well while raising children and young children, and that wrong parenting practices can be corrected.

“How to raise your sons and daughters” help you how to raise your children into healthy and productive children with healthy self-esteem, how to love and raise your children, how to make sure that they have enough rest and sleep, how to keep your family stable while mom and dad are married smoothly and How to make unconditional love, how to convey the love of parents’ children, unconditional love, how to communicate between parents and children, how to build a happy family. It tells about children’s natural personality and nature. It also provides information on physical ailments such as colds, bronchial asthma, and allergic rhinitis that are common among children and adolescents, and mental health problems.

The information on parenting in this book would be very good for parents, doctors, as well as grandparents, elementary, middle, and high school teachers, medical students, nurses, students, and children and adolescents, all men and women. If possible, it would be good to read it once from start to finish on a regular basis, and then read the necessary information as needed to solve problems such as loving children.

However, this book is not a substitute for your doctors.

In addition, some of the contents of this book may be duplicated with the contents of other volumes for convenience. I hope you can recommend this book to your friends.

In the future, This book should be improved. I wish your generous heart to achieve that purpose.

Thank you to everyone who became the model of the photos and to all of you who participated in “Ask and question on the Internet for Children and Youth”.

Special thanks to the publisher for creating this book

You may get more information from other pediatric health care including Google, www.patiented.aap.org, and WebMD.com. and you can get more information on reference www.drleepediatrics.com, especially chapter 22.

I believe it will help a lot. Thank you.

12, 2020

Lee John Sang-won, MD., FAAP

American Academy Board Certified Pediatrician,

Korean Academy of Pediatric Board Certified

Dedication

Thank to my parents.

Special thanks to the pharmacist Lee Chunja, my beloved wife, who loves me to publish these books.

With the patience, encouragement, and cooperation of My two sons, Dong-hyeong, Gun-hyeong, one daughter Jini’s proud and son-in-law, and grandchildren, Jabin, Violet, Kai all have brought this book to this world.

Thank you.

For the back cover of the book

True unconditional love for us!!!!!.

True unconditional love for us!!!!!

Raise us with unconditional love.

Among for health, food, and sleep, love, unconditional, love is the first.

More than honor,

More than business,

More than money,

Unconditional love is the most important thing.

Only then we can grow up very well physically mentally healthy with healthy self-esteem.

With your focused attention love and care, physical contact love and eye contact,

We will grow very well.

Please train us with love.

Possession love, role reverse love, vicarious love, and seductive love will make to ruin our growth and development and healthy self-esteem and pride.

This is how parents raise their children.

Mom and Dad give us unconditional true love!!!!

True love is more than honor, more than money!!!!

Unconditional, true love to us!!!!!

www. www.drleepediatrics.com

Raise your children with unconditional real love to your children

Raise children with love.
Among healthy sleep love, love is the first.
More than honor, more than business, more than money, we need to love the most. •

Only then we grow up healthy and happier.

Love us with Eye contact love, physical contact love, intensive love, and care,
We must grow with them.
Train us with love.
Possessive love, role reversal love, vicarious love, and seductive love are wrong to love.
Wrong parenting loved that leads to loss of sound self-esteem.
parents!!! •

True unconditional love for us!!! •

Rather than more money, Rather than more honor, Rather than more business, more true love to us!!!

True unconditional love to us!!!

Contents

Book cover- front……………………………………………………………………… 1

Resume………………………………………………………………………………………… .1

Preface…………………………………………………………………………………………… 2

Dedication……………………………………………………………………………………………. …4

Contents…………………………………………………………………………………………….4

1. Nowadays adolescent children and parenting dilemma…………………………………………………………………..….9

2. How to really love your children unconditionally (1)………………………………………………………………………..………14

What is love?……………………………………………………………….…… ….22
How to really give unconditional love to your children (2)……………… ….25
Unconditional real Love (3)……………………………………………………..28
Happy stable parental marital life and then happy stable children life……30.
9 kinds of Innate temperaments……………………………………………….… 34

8. 25 percentile personality and 75 percentile personality ……………… ………………………………………………………..…… …38

Children should not be raised with harmful and wrong love. ………………………..48
How to give unconditional and real love to your child…………………………….49
Raise your children with eye contact love, physical contact love, focused

attention love and care. …………………………………………………………… ..51

Honorable Senator Paul Tongas’s love for children …………………………….53
Children are the first priority of parental life………………………………………57
Train your children with love………………………………………………………..58
Parenting with unconditional love and care for your child………………… ….80
Eye contact love for your children…………………………………………………104
Physical contact love for your children……………………………………………..131
Focused attention love and care for your children……………………………132
Mom and Dad, Do you love me? …………………………………………………..80
Communication between you and your children………………………….……64
Punishment or corporal punishment at home or at school.. ………………156
Help your children to develop healthy self-esteem……………………….. 165
Sex education for your children and adolescents…………………….146
Communication of a couple and to my dear husband …………………….176
Hugging……………………………………………………………………………,,,.181
Korean War Memorial………………………………………………………………..238
The short course in human relationship…………………………………….192
Teen runaways……………………………………………………………………201
Adolescent prostitutes……………………………………………………………204
Teenage pregnancy……………………………………………………………204
Masturbation………………………………………………………………….214
Depression in children and adolescent (1)……………………………….222
Depression in adolescent children (2)…………………………………,…
Stress………………………………………………………………………………236
Boys are urgently needed………………………………………………………234.
Girls are urgently needed……………………………………………………231
Smoking prevention and cessation……………………………….……. 222
Sopa, Bang Jung Hwan’s “Declaration of children’s Right” in Korea…235.
Korean War Memorial……………………………………………………… 237
Bullying, school violence, cyberbullying, teasing……………………… .238
Train your children not to lies…………………………………………….…246
Truth and falsehood……………………………………………………….261
Feeling guilty, Jealous, Manipulation, Bullying………………………271
Stealing in children and adolescents (1)………………………………..289
Stealing in children and adolescents (2)……………………………. 298
Pardon, forgiveness………………………………………………………..296
Principles of confidential care for patients………………………………304
Praise and jealousy…………………………………………………..………309
Watching the dying child………………………………………………………………….345
One hundred questions & hundreds of answers on common cold ……..346
Should children drink cow’s milk every day? ……………………… 329
Hundreds of questions and hundreds of answers on asthma……………335
One hundred questions and hundreds of answers on allergy rhinitis…………………………………………………………………………………..369
Older brothers or sisters jealousy towards newborn siblings………….…410.
How to choose medicine for treatments………………………………………405
Happiness isn’t about money, it’s what makes it come to me ………………420
From parental control for the teenage children to trust-based self-control ….423
Humanity education and humanity education checklists……………………. 416

1. Nowadays adolescent children and Parenting ….10

Photo 1. The love between parents and children is eternal love.

At Buyeo Public Park, Korea (Sculptor Unknown).

Copyright ⓒ 2020 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

The situation of adolescents(adolescent children) in recent years has been not too bad in many ways compared to the past few decades ago, but in general, there are worse and too bad for some.

Alcohol drinking, smoking, habitual substance abuse, criminal behavior, violent behavior, bullying, teasing, decreased academic achievement, adolescent runaways, sexual values denial, teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, selfishness, economic dependence on parents, depression, suicide, and other problems of adolescents continue to grow.

Outright rebellion against the guidance and training of parents and authorities are prevailing.

Many adolescents are helpless and apathetic.

Some of the adolescents express their anger through destructive behavior through passive-aggressive behavior.

At school, violence and bullying express their anger in their lives.

They destroy themselves, destroy and disrupt homes, schools, and society.

Most adolescents don’t know how to properly express their anger.

Unfortunately, some of the parents do not teach their children how to properly express their anger while their children are growing up, neither in school nor in-home for growing children.

Neither many parents nor teachers, nor the leaders of members of society know how to properly express anger.

Also, even adolescents nowhere learn how to properly express their anger.

Perhaps that is why most adolescents express their anger through “passive-aggressive behavior,” which is the worst way to express anger.

Most of the passive-aggressive behavior is destructive, antisocial, illegal and self-destructive.

The results are disastrous.

Suicide is a type of passive-aggressive behavior that is one of the typical ways to express anger.

Bullying, commonly seen at home, at work, and at school, is also a kind of passive-aggressive behavior that arises from expressing anger.

These problems can be seen in not only the adolescents themself, but in also their parents, family, school, society, and the country.

Why?

It is difficult to pinpoint the cause of the problem related to adolescent children.

The causes of their problems and the limits of responsibility are in the adolescent children themselves, but also with their parents, teachers, society, and the country.

The causes of some problems related to adolescent children could be simple, but many are complex.

The problems of adolescent children can be originated from the adolescent children themselves, their natural personality, and the interests of their family, parents, society, and the country.

The problems of the adolescents can be caused by the adolescent children’s own fault, or their mental and physical illness, the wrong parenting and education by their parents, and also sometimes both the adolescent children themself and their parents may be in trouble at fault.

The quality of life of some adolescent children can be influenced by their innate temperament,

and how happy the marriage of their parents are, and how smooth and stable they are.

Also, it is affected by the method of raising children, raising and training children, a social state in which adolescent children live

It is affected by the mental, emotional, and economic status of the country’s older generation.

Today, adolescent children live in a cyber world.

Some of them just take a lot of information at face value in newspapers, magazines, TV, Internet, video, iPhone, iPod, Apple TV, iTunes, whether harmful or harmless, profitable or not, including information about promiscuous sex, teenage violence, binge drinking, substance abuse, suicide, house intrusion, rebellion against the authority, rebellion against parents, golden universalism, material civilization prevails, mysm (a doctrine that individual self-interest only), anti-ethical behaviors and impulses that adolescent do not care of the even parents, siblings, and neighbors, malicious propaganda and/or intrigue intentional lies, and It is exposed relentlessly to the hate.

They act and speak without changing their faces as they see, hear, and learn.

They are easily dazzled by negative and anti-humanistic information.

In addition, the marriage of their parents is neither happy nor smooth in many cases.

In general, their parents may have many problems such as financial problems, divorce, or living separated.

Either one of the parents has died. Or for some reason, some adolescents grow up under a single house head.

Most adolescent children do not feel they are raised with full genius unconditional love from their parents.

In addition, nowadays they are difficult to find spiritual leaders who will lead the way.

These days, the US divorce rate is over 40% and Korea is said to do more than that.

As a result, the sweet home, shelter, and basic foundation of life for our children and adolescents, especially adolescents, are being shaken.

Some parents spend time with ludicrously expensive food, drinking, dancing at various gatherings such as wedding banquets, party gatherings, and classmates’ gatherings, and many children and young children are at home themselves alone. Often, adolescent children spend time by themselves without parents, or adult protectors, or leaders.

For one reason or another, in particular, the foundations of the lives of some adolescent children are in a state of instability and even running into a state of destruction.

Nowadays, there is a saying that “children’s college entrance divorce”.

Children are absolutely in need of their parents’ mental, emotional, and even spiritual support and help, guidance, and love until they have fully grown up in this world to form a happy family independent from their parents, and sometimes even after that.

After young adult children who have graduated from high school and then entered college, they also want to continue to receive support from their parents and genuine unconditional love. They absolutely need more than ever to have parents who, even independent young adults, can constantly care for, guide, and train them.

Also, some of them hope to get financial help from their parents as well.

Most of the young adult children want to enjoy the most stable mental, emotional, and spiritual life.

In order to achieve that goal, parental advice and guidance are needed not only during adolescence but also in young adulthood after puberty.

It is extremely desirable that these young adult children often return to their parents for emotional help.

Photo 3-213. Children who have grown up with full unconditional true love do their best to love themselves, to love others, and whatever they do. Even from childhood to adulthood, they live with healthy self-esteem and sound pride and confidence. Copyright ⓒ 2020 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Parents should be on standby so that these young adult children can come to their parents at any time without hesitation when they need emotional, sometimes mental, or financial assistance. Nevertheless, some parents made “divorce at the time of their children’s college entrance.”

In addition, the world today is highly mechanized and a nuclear family.

There are also problems in setting the direction of home education and children rearing.

Economic problems that occur in most families can lead to problems for adolescent children.

Parents’ prevalence of selfishness, lack of values of ethics and morality, wrong child love and training methods, and lack of dialogue between parents and children can be the root causes of adolescent problems.

Of course, later on, the mental and physical problems of adolescent children can be the cause of their problems during adolescence.

Some parents nurture their children and adolescents with possessive love like things they own.

They are also sexually impulsive to their children and nurture them through seductive love.

To accomplish their dreams which could not be achieved in their parents’ past life, some parents nurture their children with vicarious love, tempting them so that they can fulfill their dreams.

Some adolescents don’t know what modesty, humility, frugality, humility, politeness, and greetings are.

Even in interpersonal relationships, it is easy to live a miserable social life because it is only at that time and they do not know anything related to future relationships.

Among the causes of various problems in adolescent children described above, the main cause of adolescent’s problem nowadays is family breakdown, and the failure to give true unconditional love and raise children without unconditional real love.

While we all live in this world, we often say “I love my children, I love my children,” and in fact, most of the parents don’t know what love really means.

I sometimes have held seminars on the subject of “How to love your children.”

A wise woman asked me, “Where are parents who don’t know how to love their children?”

There are too many parents who raise their children without studying the love of children and not knowing what love of children is.

It is known that by sending the just–deliver- the baby-mother to postpartum care centers, San-hu-chori-won instead to send to their sweet home. It is known that parent is sending their children to daycare centers, nursery schools, kindergartens, schools, and academies and children learn the basics of humanity, the intellectual character is the best for children welfare.

Many parents do not know how to love their children in any way. Most of the parents do not know how to convey their love to their children through eye contact love, physical contact love, focus attention love, and care. There are many teachers and parents who argue that children should be trained with corporal punishment rather than with love.

During a seminar on “How to love your children”, again, some parents asked me, “Where are the parents who do not know how to raise and love their children?”

We must always be in a learning attitude.

The author was also one of the parents who raised three children without knowing how to properly love my children.

I raised three children without knowing what is unconditional love, true love or possessive love, and so on.

The Boy with his mother at High School graduation

During 18 years of my elementary, middle, and high school education, no one taught me what love is and how to express anger. So I couldn’t learn.

I have tried to provide food, shelter, and clothes to my children from birth to adulthood and also after then. My wife and I treat them if they have diseases well, provide adequate vaccination to prevent infectious diseases, prevent safety accidents, and buy toys.

Parents are satisfying and nurturing children by giving them enough pocket money, helping them grow up with joy and enjoyment, eating well-balanced foods, providing adequate clothing and shelter, providing good school education, and taking extracurricular activities as needed. Most parents know that these are all about loving their children. This makes sense.