6. Happy stable parental marital life and then happy stable children life
6. 행복하고 안정된 부모의 결혼생활, 그리고 행복하고 안정적인 자녀생활
The basic necessary conditions for raising stable and happy children are food, clothing, shelter, health,
and love. In addition, the marriage between their mother and father must be happy, harmonious, and
stable.
The children of such mothers and fathers who have a smooth and happy marriage grow happier.
If the home of the growing children is not stable, then the children are not truly loved by their parents.
In order for the family to be smooth and stable, the marriage of their mothers and fathers must be
stable.
This is a very basic necessary condition for children’s happiness other than the basic necessities mentioned above.
That comes first.
The family can be stable and comfortable only when the relationship between their mother and
father is stable, harmonious, and amicable.
The most important prerequisite is for establishing a stable, harmonious, and amicable marital relationship between the mother and father, and then their mother and father lead the family with a lot of
unconditional true love.
Their mom and dad must have a lot of unconditional true love for each other.
Then, their mom and dad will be friendly and able to maintain a smooth relationship.
What is unconditional love in a marital relationship?
Unconditional love in a marital relationship is ideal love.
It is impossible for a couple to achieve 100 percent unconditional true love with each other.
It is to be closer to achieving 100 percent unconditional that the couple lives in marriage while truly
loving each other without conditions.
Then their mom and dad’s married life will be smoother and happier.
Children who grow up under such a mother and father will naturally grow happily.
Children who grow up happily and love themselves will know how to love others.
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Lee D ART FC 1 – 051721.qxp_Layout 1 5/26/21 7:20 AM Page 25Whatever they do, they will do their best.
Only when children grow up under the parents of a happy and affable mother and father, can they
feel that they grew up with sound healthy self-esteem and pride.
They can sympathize with young children, respect the elderly, and love the poor and the weak.
They know how to discern right and wrong.
Naturally, they are loved by their parents and loved by other people.
How happy are these children?
Money cannot replace such happy children.
Of course, they can’t buy it with money.
In today’s turbulent and complex society, it is virtually very difficult to see children who mothers
and fathers are living in a smooth and intimate marital relationship with each other by making a lot of
unconditional and genuine love for each other.
Photo 6. Mom and Dad!
I love my mom and dad as much like the highest mountain and as much as the endless wide ocean
Copyright © 2016 John Sangwon Lee, MD, FAAP
Mom and Dad must strive to be an unconditional, true loving couple.
In other words, you need to show your children that the marital relationship between the mom and
dad is smooth and that the two live happily.
Only then will their children will grow up happily and stably.
Mom and Dad must have a lot of true love for each other every day.
As Corinthians 13:4–7 states, Unconditional Love, nobody can love 100 percent as it is, but parents
must love each other without conditions.
So parents have to show their children how to truly love without condition.
Children also feel happy and grow up and develop joyfully, knowing that their parents truly love
them unconditionally.
You must also teach children how to live gently, good, politely, modestly, and humbly. Those who
live that way truly love others.
Young children don’t have much because they are young.
After birth, young children often learn primarily a lot from their mothers and fathers.
John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
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Lee D ART FC 1 – 051721.qxp_Layout 1 5/26/21 7:20 AM Page 26They don’t have so much what they see, hear, and learn in their short world life.
What they see, hear, and learn in their short life, they reflect back everything which they saw, heard,
and learned in their short life to their parents and people in this world.
Children who are raised with unconditional love from their parents bring unconditional love to
their parents.
Just as they received, they offer “unconditional love” to the world as well.
Children who have learned to love conditionally from their parents also love conditionally their
parents or people in this world.
Even if mothers and fathers have provided their children with abundant food and healthy love, their
children do not feel that they are unconditionally truly loved by their parents unless their marital relationship is smooth and they are happy.
As already explained, unconditional love between a mother and a father is ideal.
However, Mom and Dad must love to be close to 100 percent unconditional love.
Also, parents must do their best to give unconditional love to their children.
Unfortunately, divorce rates for couples in the United States these days are around 30–40 percent.
They are said to be almost the same or even more in the motherland, Korea. In addition, parents
live separate lives due to various complex problems such as personal problems and other reasons.
There are many children who grow up under a single parent due to the death of a mother or a father.
For these and other reasons, many children are unable to grow up under their parents, mom, and
dad, and their families, which are the foundation and basic necessary condition of their lives, and are
shattered or fluctuated.
There are so many children nowadays who grow up without the love and care of their natural mothers and fathers, as a baby bird just hatched inside the nest and still cannot fly into the air by its own
without her mom and dad.
Nowadays, the material side of life for a child’s life is so much richer and has so much, but there is
nothing more than a few decades ago.
There are many teenage children who are wandering around after running away from home without
their parents’ help.
Some of them are also entangled in a collective snare of heretics who are only open to self-interest.
You can predict what kind of problems will come to them and what will happen to them in the future.
The quality and quantity of love between Mom and Dad are directly linked to the quality and quantity of love between parents and children.
“Parents should also be at least a half doctor (부모도 반의사가 되어야 한다).” There are repeated
explanations of “how to truly love your children.”
Because it is of paramount importance to love and raise your children properly and truly.
Here again, I will talk about specific ways of how parents truly love their children unconditionally.
I’ve heard something like this.
When I asked many adolescent children, “Do you think you are truly loved by your parents without
condition?”
Raise Your Sons and Daughters with Real Unconditional Love
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Lee D ART FC 1 – 051721.qxp_Layout 1 5/26/21 7:20 AM Page 27Only 5 percent of adolescent children answered yes.
When I asked their parents, “Are you truly unconditionally loving your children?”
Ninety-five percent of them said, “I have been loving our children without conditions.”
Why did we get those results?
There are many reasons for those, but it is because parents’ love for their children was not well
communicated to their adolescent children because they did not know how to truly love their children.
How sad the relationship is between parents and adolescent children?
Here, mothers and fathers must learn how to love their children so that the love of their children is
fully conveyed to their adolescent children.
Almost all parents love their children with eye-contact love, physical-contact love, focused-attention
love and care, train their children with love, and nurture their children well, but do not know how to effectively communicate between parents and their children.
Also, they don’t even know how important “real love without conditions” is when they love their
children.
Photo 7. Parents must love their children unconditionally so that they love others unconditionally, establish good interpersonal relationships, do their best in this world, and live with a lot of sound healthy
self–esteem and pride. Copyright © © 2016 John Sangwon Lee, MD, FAAP